First, I must start by saying "FUCK FRIDAY THE 13TH's!" They mean nothing to me and hold no power over my destiny or the course of my day.....
There now, with that being said. I saw my new medical oncologist today (the other doctor has retired) and I am impressed with the exam (1 hour and most of it was talking, actually). My latest labs came back and look pretty good except for my platlets (which he said could take a year or more to get back to normal after receiving aggressive chemo as I did). The biggest concern was the liver function (which is where I can most likely see issues if there is a reoccurance of the cancer in my torso). He said that the liver function looks great. He ordered new chest x-rays and said that they would be read today and if there were any problems or concerns he would call me, and there has been no call. He asked about my support system and was wondering if I thought that I was depressed. I told him that I do have moments of depression but they are not long lived and I can usually get out of them with a little time. I did tell him that right now I am not all the keen on the idea of putting more medications in me than is needed for the heaviest fighting that I have ahead. I told him that most of what I am dealing with that is affecting me is the mood changes due to the steriods as well as the previous anti-seizure meds. I also have some issues with sleep as a result of the steriods, but that when I get too tired I use the meds they gave me on an as needed basis only. The only new glitch I have experienced are really severe leg cramps at night and sporadically through the day. He said that from the lab work he would attribute that to the steriods and that I will either adapt or they will go away once I drop down on the taper to lower levels. He said that he is rather amazed that I have put on 20 lbs since this all began back in december (I told him that 10 of it has happened in the past two weeks since I started the steriods and hope that it is temporary, I am out of my fat pants and need to get a new belt tomorrow).
The best part, is that I am no longer seeing him on a 6 week basis but am now going to once every three months, with labs and chest x-rays prior to the visit.
Now, I know that this does not mean that the battle is won, nor does it mean that the road will be easier. It does mean that I have more road behind me today than I did yesterday and that translates to less road ahead of me. Granted I still have the brain lesions to contend with, but that is just another bit that must be dealt with one day at a time, and in the way that I have tried to deal up to this point - cautious optimism - but also with great thanks for the lessons I have learned through this terrifying journey. I have learned much about myself, my family, my friends and my fellow Jubbers. You have no idea what your words of encouragement have done for me.
May all of you feel the sun shine upon your face and your very being and bring you the peace and warmth that each and everyone of you deserve.