How do you get your boyfriend to admit he farts?

[Nightmare]

Tony does it all the time in the car, he swears it's me. But I tell him that my cute little patootie can never ever produce something of that nature. So, how should I go about proving that he farts in the car?

[GL]

Pull his finger?

[Nightmare]

He has insurance on his finger, if I do that, he can sue.

[elvin1]

Record him...........

[marcde]

My ex was the opposite - every chance he had to light one in company he did, he was a proud farter.

Not sure how you should go about proving that he is the one letting rip , matches in the car may not be a good idea

[GL]

He has insurance on his finger, if I do that, he can sue.

How about the next time he cuts one in the car, you roll down the window and yell out, "Oh Baby! That's just nasty!"

[elvin1]

I hate farts.....

[Nightmare]

How about the next time he cuts one in the car, you roll down the window and yell out, "Oh Baby! That's just nasty!"

That and start warning of other drivers of his little 'problem'.

[GL]

That and start warning of other drivers of his little 'problem'.

There you go! Stick your head out of the window and yell, "Oxygen! I need oxygen!"

[Pegasus69]

show him the skid marks in his underwear (I cannot say how I know they are there).

[gsdx]

Sew this in his underwear: http://www.s-tech.ca/products/ps/psm011.htm

[van-ee]

Does this have anything to do with your "Dying Moon" blog ?

[tonyboy]

What sort of proof do you need man. You know don't do it, he knows he is doing. I figure he is having some fun with you.

[Chance1826]

I hate farts.....

Who are you kidding....you love them!

[Jonotrek]

Call up the Mythbusters and ask for their shorts with the built-in microphone and methane detector... you know what to do from there I hope.

(And yes, this was filmed - but Discovery Channel wouldn't allow it to be shown in the U.S.)

[JayHew]

You might not be able to stop him from farting, but you can aways hope for the day when he will look at you funny and ask, "Are farts lumpy?" Then you will not have to have the argument anymore.

[looseliam]

I was just thinking (yes it still hurts): Does he really think he can convince you it wasn't him? Like you'd forget you tore ass?

[dolphwasser]

I can't STOP him from admitting it.

Pride goeth before the fart - and after, too!

[vamagnifique]

light a match under him

[Austin40acres]

This is kind of like the "skidmarks" thread to me.

I truly believe that ALL guys fart and ALL guys leave skidmarks in their underwear. (I also believe that most women do too, but I can't prove it.)

Not everyday, not every minute, but it happens.

Bodily functions are rarely pretty, but they happen. Cope.

A4A

[Sausy]

You can always resort to the no sex without confession tactic....he who denies supplying it is denied it until he admits he supplied it even when denying it!

[Sausy]

You can always resort to the no sex without confession tactic....he who denies supplying it is denied it until he admits he supplied it even when denying it!

Boy,I thought I was mildly amusing at least..hope I didn't take the air out of this thread!

[Nightmare]

You didn't. I was actually just about to head off to bed after this last check of the board, I just got done looking for butt plugs for him.

[Chance1826]

This is kind of like the "skidmarks" thread to me.

I truly believe that ALL guys fart and ALL guys leave skidmarks in their underwear. (I also believe that most women do too, but I can't prove it.)

Not everyday, not every minute, but it happens.

Bodily functions are rarely pretty, but they happen. Cope.

A4A

LOL....True...

Women do fart but they need to be a little more private about it...My girlfriend was like that! But she still never admitted to it.

[Soilwork]

video tape him in the bathtub.

[gmoney]

video tape him in the bathtub.

That would be perfect; if he needs to at that time. If he denies it again just remind him that farts are rarely offensive to the ones who dealt them! Just say "Hey Tony, I know it was you! Look at how happy your face is!"

[elvin1]

OMG!!! I just noticed this post!!!!
You're evil......

Who are you kidding....you love them!

[Chance1826]

OMG!!! I just noticed this post!!!!
You're evil......

You told me you enjoy the ones where you smother your partner under the sheets....after you let one loose! I was like OMG! *runs*

[douseiai]

get rid of the dog so he has noone to blaim...

[elvin1]

This guy is lying!!!! I've never met him in my life.......

You told me you enjoy the ones where you smother your partner under the sheets....after you let one loose! I was like OMG! *runs*

[metta]

I hate farts.....

umm....your stomach is not working properly if you don't fart. If you ever have to have bowel surgery, it is one the first things that they look for to see if your stomach starts working again.

So, be happy that you fart. It is a sign of good digestion. lol.

I think that if it smells, it might have something to do with the health of the digestive system or what the person has eaten recently.

I have noticed that I need to try and stay away from raw garlic and the roasted garlic that is in little chunks becuae it can make me gassy. (I know....TMI....sorry)

[Adidasluvr]

Pride and pleasure comes from the passage of things past the sphincter.

Though it would seem some around here would prefer to glue theirs shut.

[Chance1826]

umm....your stomach is not working properly if you don't fart. If you ever have to have bowel surgery, it is one the first things that they look for to see if your stomach starts working again.

So, be happy that you fart. It is a sign of good digestion. lol.

I think that if it smells, it might have something to do with the health of the digestive system or what the person has eaten recently.

I have noticed that I need to try and stay away from raw garlic and the roasted garlic that is in little chunks becuae it can make me gassy. (I know....TMI....sorry)

You must be joking....farting is a good sign of digestion! Really?

[elvin1]

LOL...I don't like it but believe me, I do fart...LOL
Thanks for the info...

umm....your stomach is not working properly if you don't fart. If you ever have to have bowel surgery, it is one the first things that they look for to see if your stomach starts working again.

So, be happy that you fart. It is a sign of good digestion. lol.

I think that if it smells, it might have something to do with the health of the digestive system or what the person has eaten recently.

I have noticed that I need to try and stay away from raw garlic and the roasted garlic that is in little chunks becuae it can make me gassy. (I know....TMI....sorry)

[gmoney]

Anyone who says they don't fart is a total lier! Yeah, certain foods make it happen more and more smelly, but if you don't fart you will explode!

[justaboi1981]

Is this really a conversation we are having if h e really farts or not LOL

[metta]

You must be joking....farting is a good sign of digestion! Really?

Yep....not joking....ask any nurse that works with patients that have had bowel surgery. So yes, that would mean that even the Royals would fart...or pass gas....or what ever you want to call it.

Believe me, when you have a friend with a damaged digestive system (damage from kidney dialysis) and the doc says that he will die if they cannot improve it....you look forward to first fart after a bowel operation.

[elvin1]

Yes, it is......

Is this really a conversation we are having if h e really farts or not LOL

[cocktales]

Just hope he doesn't fart in bed and cover your head up, under the covers where he popped a SBD.........Silent But Deadly........stinky!!

Man, that will take your breath away!

.........and, you gotta breath.......or die and then the fart attacks you with it's gusto!!!

AARRGGHH!!!!

[elvin1]

^My guess is Cocktales is referring to Chance1826.............

[Chance1826]

^My guess is Cocktales is referring to Chance1826.............

I am not that cruel to my friends or boyfriends...*excuses self from the computer and goes to the bathroom*

[D-Base]

Put a lighter in your pocket and when u hear him fart lit his fart on fire

[Chance1826]

Put a lighter in your pocket and when u hear him fart lit his fart on fire

That would only burn him...not his hubby....

[cockman1701]

I hate farts.....

Now it's a perfectly natural bodily fartion.

pfffffffffffffffffffft !!

excuse me.

[Chance1826]

Now it's a perfectly natural bodily fartion.

pfffffffffffffffffffft !!

excuse me.

^Well that is definitely one person who just farted!

[Scruffy88]

me and my man always fart and own up to it. it happens. if its bad, we warn the other. ooh honey, that was a stinker. then a minute later, eww that was. and we laugh. and thats that.

[Michael Luc]

Brian knows the best defense is a good offense. He is sooooo talking about himself. I've had to pull over and get out of the car when his flatulence kicks in. Once, it was so bad, it made my eyes tear.

[Swellegant]

Just keep pinching him until he fesses up. It's a very effective and efficient form of torture, you can do it without taking your eyes off the road... just reach across and start pinching.

Everybody farts, just as everybody poops. Everybody gets pimples in unattractive places, hair in their noses, and body-odor. We're none of us plastic and perfect and hermetically sealed, for what would be the fun in that?

[unclaimedblessing]

Hope you singed nostril hairs grow back soon, but don't tell Bush.
He'll destroy him has a "Weapon of Ass Destruction".

[pacz]

This reminds me of the scene in "Y tu mama Tambian," where the driver of the car let's one out and locks the windows so the passenger can't open them!