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  1. #1
    peace and long life
    MidnightPrism's Avatar
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    Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Do you have or do you want to have sex with no strings attached? Just some guy you met but have no feelings for.


    I don't like just having sex with anonymous people. The only time I have sex is when I'm in a monogamous relationship.


  2. #2
    More! Deeper! TaigaStar's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I say it can be done, but it's not for me.

  3. #3
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    of course people do it all the time, but i've never tried. this one guy who i liked for a very short period of time, then realized i didn't tried to get me to go at it with him, but i just couldn't get into it. I wrote a whole thread about the experience.
    "mmmyes, this is all true..."

    Ask Me Questions!

    and, yes, these are my eyes.

  4. #4
    alister9669
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I've never had sex with someone where I wasn't in a relationship with them. I don't see myself every having random sex.

  5. #5
    herry
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Yes I can and have done I once had sex for a year with someone I had no emotional connection with.

  6. #6
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    star-warrior's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I spent long teenage years with my hand for company. So yes. I bet there are plenty of you who'd say something similar.


  7. #7
    Cousin
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by alister9669 View Post
    I've never had sex with someone where I wasn't in a relationship with them. I don't see myself every having random sex.
    Damn it! Hey, sorry Alister about pushing you against that rock.

    As for the question, not what I am looking for right now.

  8. #8
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I've had lots of sex sans relationship. But never with a complete stranger.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  9. #9
    Cocksucker ronnie_h's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    yes, absolutely.. i guess i had more sex without a relationship than the other way
    Don't tell me about your rules, because I spit on any rules.

  10. #10
    Queer_Appeal
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    call me queer, but I'd like to have sex mean something....I wouldn't want someone to say "thanks" after having sex and get up an walk out the door. I want the whole package or nothing at all.

  11. #11
    Sex God wanky_window's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    i've had random sex with strangers a few times, but always felt awful afterwards, but that's more down to bipolar disorder than actually wanting to do it, so maybe that's abit irrelevant

  12. #12
    Antares
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I don't think there is such a thing as "no strings attached." Sex changes everything.

    I would only ever have sex, like MP said, in a monogamous relationship.

  13. #13
    I don't care
    sb's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Yes I can have sex without a relationship.
    It doesn't make me better or worse than people who can't have sex with someone they just met.
    It doesn't make the sex I have more or less meaningful.
    and it hurts with every heartbeat......



  14. #14
    In Loving Memory Andreus's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    ive had anonymous sex and sex within a loving committed relationship.

    its just been my experience that sex in a relationship is lightyears more exciting and erotic than sex with strangers.

    I dont judge anyone for either way

  15. #15
    peace and long life
    MidnightPrism's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I don't judge people and as I have been told often I might loosen up a little once I am more experienced.


  16. #16
    Complexly Simple ahotjock71's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Um, being consitently single, I only have sex without a relationship. Although I wish it were the other way around.

  17. #17
    slobone
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by MidnightPrism View Post
    Do you have or do you want to have sex with no strings attached? Just some guy you met but have no feelings for.


    I don't like just having sex with anonymous people. The only time I have sex is when I'm in a monogamous relationship.
    I see that a lot around here, so maybe somebody can finally explain it to me. How does that work? Do you tell the guy "I'm not going to have sex with you until you agree to be monogamous with me"? Is it hard to find guys who'll go along with that?

    I mean, even straight people don't do that anymore. They date a few times, they have sex a few times, then they decide whether they're in a relationship or not. Just like gay people (used to?) do.

  18. #18
    slobone
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Oh, and also, reading the other posts, are you guys aware that there is something between sex in a monogamous relationship and anonymous, random sex?

    I mean, at a minimum you can at least introduce yourselves to each other....

  19. #19
    Complexly Simple ahotjock71's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by slobone View Post
    Oh, and also, reading the other posts, are you guys aware that there is something between sex in a monogamous relationship and anonymous, random sex?

    I mean, at a minimum you can at least introduce yourselves to each other....
    That's the way it is with me...I have to at least talk to the person on the phone or in person to get a "feel" for them before I am comfortable enough to just "go at it."

  20. #20
    In Loving Memory Andreus's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by slobone View Post
    Oh, and also, reading the other posts, are you guys aware that there is something between sex in a monogamous relationship and anonymous, random sex?

    I mean, at a minimum you can at least introduce yourselves to each other....
    thats called sexually active dating

    You have to kiss alot of frogs before you find a prince

  21. #21
    peace and long life
    MidnightPrism's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by slobone View Post
    I mean, even straight people don't do that anymore. They date a few times, they have sex a few times, then they decide whether they're in a relationship or not. Just like gay people (used to?) do.
    If we've dated a few times and had sex a few times I consider it a relationship... not like 'partners' or anything. I like to date people who aren't dating other people at the same time.


  22. #22
    Peto Antoni
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    In an open relationship so I can have all the sex I want! Saves on the lying and cheating of so many I know!

  23. #23
    slobone
    Guest

    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by MidnightPrism View Post
    If we've dated a few times and had sex a few times I consider it a relationship... not like 'partners' or anything. I like to date people who aren't dating other people at the same time.
    OK, so then it's not true that the only time that you have sex is when you're in a monogamous relationship.

    That's what I thought. I just didn't see how it would work the other way.

    So what you're doing isn't that different from what gay people have always done. You meet a guy, you hit it off, you have sex, if you both enjoyed it you do it again, and after a few times you have to decide whether to continue the relationship or move on.

    And, I hate to say this, but unless you're one of those rare people who's found his soulmate, in which case God bless you, a relationship is only monogamous until it isn't. Sooner or later one of you is going to get tired of the other one and either start cheating or break up. Again, not that different from the way it's always worked.

  24. #24
    In Loving Memory Pegasus69's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I have not had sex in 3 years for the very reason that I much prefer to have sex with the emotional attachment that I desire and need. Sex without the emotional intimacy left me feeling empty and even more alone than prior to the act. For the longest time after my relationship ended I did not have sex with anyone, then for a very short period of time I did try the online hook-ups and such. That is when I learned that I need the intimacy part for me to feel good about it.

  25. #25

    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I have been envolve in those situations, where theres some sexual activity, and no speaking, and some where they just might as well not said anything.I have thought about writing a short story of the not so good sexual times. Most stories are for quick arousal and JO material, I know it certainly would not be to that caliber so have ignored the thoughts. I am thinking about one where two guys want to live with me. Maybe!

  26. #26
    Under Construction Elwood's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Anonymous, sex can be enjoyable. As long as you play safe! I wouldn't want an open relationship, but seeing as I am single now the occasional anonymous sex is not hurting anyone.
    Never be afraid to try something new, remember, amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.

  27. #27
    JUB Addicts runner's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Yes, I do every week, but I wish a relationship were there.

  28. #28
    JUB Addict operafan's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I certainly had lots of anonymous sex before my boyfriend - in fact he was the first person I ever had sex with whose name I knew.

    It's kind of exciting on one hand, but ultimately I found it very degrading.

  29. #29
    Nightmare
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    No. When I really think about it, I couldn't,

  30. #30
    hangin around douseiai's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    it can be done... but i definitly want a relationship with my first at least... after wards it depends on my experience with my first... i have turned down sex before because i am kinda picky about whom i want to be my first
    Mine is the Earth and the sword in the stone, Mine is the throne for the idol
    One fleeting moment, and it is all gone, Crownless again Will I fall?

  31. #31
    teh_nathan
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    The no-strings thing has never appealed to me because I get too attached too easily.

  32. #32
    Temeritous hirsuteness
    Lube's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by nathanr View Post
    The no-strings thing has never appealed to me because I get too attached too easily.
    Me, too. I'm a wimp.
    The world never changes if you're forever "minding my own business".
    The mindset that no one knows you're gay because you haven't told them,
    is like the dog that thinks you don't see him stealing the steak because he avoids your glance.
    Staying in the closet is like continuing to sit in the back of the bus.
    It's accepting that it's wrong to be who you are.

  33. #33
    Temeritous hirsuteness
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by slobone View Post
    OK, so then it's not true that the only time that you have sex is when you're in a monogamous relationship.

    That's what I thought. I just didn't see how it would work the other way.

    So what you're doing isn't that different from what gay people have always done. You meet a guy, you hit it off, you have sex, if you both enjoyed it you do it again, and after a few times you have to decide whether to continue the relationship or move on.

    And, I hate to say this, but unless you're one of those rare people who's found his soulmate, in which case God bless you, a relationship is only monogamous until it isn't. Sooner or later one of you is going to get tired of the other one and either start cheating or break up. Again, not that different from the way it's always worked.
    Well I think what people are saying (myself included) is that a "relationship" is someone you know and you've dated a couple times, or maybe you go at it on the first date but you already know the person from work or a hobby or something.

    And even though it's a budding relationship (and not marriage or anything), it is monogamous while it lasts. And it would end by ending the relationship and sex at the same time; not cheating and then ending the relationship when caught.

    At least that's how I look at it.
    The world never changes if you're forever "minding my own business".
    The mindset that no one knows you're gay because you haven't told them,
    is like the dog that thinks you don't see him stealing the steak because he avoids your glance.
    Staying in the closet is like continuing to sit in the back of the bus.
    It's accepting that it's wrong to be who you are.

  34. #34
    teh_nathan
    Guest

    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lube View Post
    Me, too. I'm a wimp.
    Aww, me too. *hug* I've never understood the appeal of it.

  35. #35
    Imbeciles...
    luminum's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    I've done it, but you need to have a specific kind of relationship with the person where you're both comfortable and would never consider a romantic relationship with one another.

  36. #36
    Currently observing blooeyz's Avatar
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    Re: Can you have sex without a relationship?

    The BEST sex I've ever had has been anonymous sex (but also some of the worst).
    I once had sex with five guys in the woods by charles river parkway, one sucking my dick, one eating my ass, one on each nipple, and one kissing my neck. That blew my mind.
    Don't get me wrong, sex with someone you love is hot, but it doesn't have that illicit thrill.
    I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, But all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.

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