Jokes in Poor Taste.

[Soilwork]

How do lesbians lose weight?


They don't.









your turn.

[Guest]

Why don't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?


It's hard to eat Jenny Craig when Mary Kay is on your face.

[Soilwork]

What does a gay guy order at a Chinese Restaurant?



Cream of Sum Yung Gui.

[Soilwork]

What do Gerbils say when a gay guy walks into the Pet Store?



"WOOF"

[Guest]

What do Gerbils say when a gay guy walks into the Pet Store?



"WOOF"

lol....

[Guest]

What is the difference between a lesbian and a Keebler?



One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

[1091MAC]

If you can get rabies from dogs and maleria from mosquitos, what can you get AIDS from?





Asshoppers

[bradford1965]

Did you hear about the dyslexic anorexic?

She died sadly, choked on her own Vimto.

[The_Reaper]

From a friend of mine, who has been cracking very tasteless jokes as late:



What's the hardest part of eating a vegitible?





The chair.





What do you say to the family of a gay guy who's been crippled?


Look on the bright side..He started life as a fruit, he's going out as a vegitible!

[BenF]

Looky looky

[Andreus]

why do women have legs?













so they don't leave slug tracks when they cross the room

[blackbeltninja]

What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in your bath-tub?

Throw in your dirty clothes and let him do the washing.

[Andreus]

Looky looky

haha

i forgot about that one ben...

i was particularly proud of this one

http://justusboys.com/forum/showpost...1&postcount=91

[Styrker]

How many Fags can you seat on a bar stool??



Turn it upside down and it seats four!!!

[FlipPy]

What did the one gay necrophiliac say to the other as they walked past the graveyard?







Wanna go in and suck down a few cold ones?

[stromberg]

Why do women wear make-up and perfume?






Because they're fucking ugly and they smell.

[Andreus]

did you hear about the terrorist hijacking of a 747 full of lawyers?


they threatened to release one an hour if their demands were not met

[RationalLunacy]

A horse trots into a gay bar and the bartender asks him "Why the long face?"

[Jadin32]

Why does Helen Keller wear her pants so tight?



So you can read her lips!

[Nightmare]

A (Catholic) priest is walking down 5th avenue with his rabbi friend arguing the finer points of the Old Testemant.

All of a sudden a little boy comes out from behind a fence ahead of them.

The priest looks over at the rabbi an says, “Hey… You wanna screw that kid?”

The Rabbi looks at the boy ahead of them and replys, “Out of what?”

[windgates]

Tasteless.

A gay couple was walking along a beach when they found a magic lamp. The two of them rubbed it and a genie came out, but he was homophobic and would only grant them one wish. The couple decided to save their wish and go home.

The couple went to bed and all of the sudden the KKK burst into the bedroom, grabbed the two gay guys, put nooses around their necks and were about to hang them.

The one gay guy said to the other "We should use our wish now!" To which the other one replied "Well.. I kind of already did, I wished we were hung like black men!"

[ronboy]

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she was little?

They rearranged the furniture!



How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?

She was trying to read the waffle iron!

[Jadin32]

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she was little?

They rearranged the furniture!



How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?

She was trying to read the waffle iron!

Sticking with Ms. Keller.........why were her fingers purple?

She heard it through the grapevine!

[Nightmare]

What’s 18 inches long and makes women scream all night?

A dead baby

[Ruby]

How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?

When she has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil



What did the german clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick, tick'?

'Ve haff vays of making you tock!'




Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?

Scared the hell out of the dog.

[BenF]

A forty year old woman goes to see her doctor because she has been feeling tired and run down.

The doctor examines her and explains to her that he would like to run a few tests and that she should come back next week.

A week later, she returns to the clinic.

"Well," she asks "did you get the results?"

"I did indeed" says the Doctor "It looks like someone will be changing nappies in a few weeks"

"Oh my!" she shrieks "Am I pregnant??"

"No, you have bowel cancer"




My coat? It's the hilarious Jester's outfit with the frilly sleeves

[Soilwork]

Guy goes into the Dr and says, "you know.. I don't get it, I look great, I feel great.. but I stink".

The doctor scratches his head and looks into his journals. After an hour or tense waiting, he calls the nervous patient into his office and says, "No need to worry, sir... I found the answer. You look great, you feel great, but you stink. Just means you're an asshole."

[RealMadrid]

Not feeling quite right, a man goes to see his doctor. The doctor requests a urine sample and says, "this new machine I have will diagnose any problem with a simple urine test. It'll only take about 5 minutes."

Five minutes later the doctor returns. "Well, it seems as if you have tennis elbow."

"Tennis elbow?" the man questions "I've never even PLAYED tennis!"

The doctor replies, "the machine hasn't been wrong yet. Go home, come back in a week and we'll run the test again."

A week goes by and just before he goes to the doctor's office, the man decides to fuck with the machine. He takes a sample from his loving wife and his innocent young 13 year old daughter. He then scrapes some oil off the floor of the garage, puts it in the cup and then to finish it off, masturbates into the cup.

He brings the sample to the doctor who runs it through the machine. About 30 minutes later, the doctor comes back with a printout.

"Well, it seems your wife is pregnant but its not your kid, your daughter is screwing everyone in her school, your Volvo needs a tune up, and if you don't stop jerking off you'll never get rid of that tennis elbow!"

[081581]

How can you tell the difference between a lesbian and a moose?








The lesbian is the one wearing the plaid shirt.





081581

Inquiring minds want to know.

[081581]

A (Catholic) priest is walking down 5th avenue with his rabbi friend arguing the finer points of the Old Testemant.

All of a sudden a little boy comes out from behind a fence ahead of them.

The priest looks over at the rabbi an says, “Hey… You wanna screw that kid?”

The Rabbi looks at the boy ahead of them and replys, “Out of what?”

There are no fences on 5th Avenue, at least not on the 5th Avenue in New York City.

081581

Inquiring minds want to know.

[Nightmare]

Does that really take away from the joke? It's not like the joke is entirely true in the first place.

[081581]

A (Catholic) priest is walking down 5th avenue with his rabbi friend arguing the finer points of the Old Testemant.

All of a sudden a little boy comes out from behind a fence ahead of them.

The priest looks over at the rabbi an says, “Hey… You wanna screw that kid?”

The Rabbi looks at the boy ahead of them and replys, “Out of what?”

I think your joke would have been as funny, or as unfunny, if you had substituted a Grand Ayatollah, a Hindu monk, a Southern Baptist minister, or an Indian Chief, for the Rabbi.

081581

Inquiring minds want to know.

[081581]

Re-reading all the jokes posted on this thread, I realize that some of you may have misinterpreted the title of the thread: "Jokes in Poor Taste". A "Jokes in Poor Taste", doesn't require that the joke be unfunny.

081581

Inquiring minds want to know.

[Austin40acres]

By definition, a joke "in poor taste" needs no explanation or qualification.

If you don't get it, or are offended by it, it's your problem.



What did Michael Jackson say to the guy standing on the beach?







Get out of my son.


A4A

[081581]

[QUOTE=Austin40acres]By definition, a joke "in poor taste" needs no explanation or qualification.

If you don't get it, or are offended by it, it's your problem.



What did Michael Jackson say to the guy standing on the beach?

____________


My old reliable Webster's Dictionary defines "joke" as "(i) anything said or done to arouse laughter, e.g., a funny anecdote with a punch line, an amusing trick played on someone, (ii) the humorous element in a situation, (iii) a thing done or said merely in fun, or (iv) a person or thing to be laughed at, not to be taken seriously, because absurd, rediculous, etc."

So, a "joke in poor taste" must have the two required elements: (i) it must be a joke, i.e., it must be funny, and (ii) it must be in poor taste. The existence of the second element (poor taste) in no way waives the requirement of the first element, e.i., that the story must be funny.

081581

Inquiring minds want to know.

[Soilwork]

Some people are capable of ruining ANYTHING.

[081581]

Some people are capable of ruining ANYTHING.

SOILWORK

LIGHTEN UP!! THINGS DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO MEAN (AND/OR BE LIMITED TO) WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO MEAN.

081581

Inquiring minds want to know.

[WRITERPAUL]

SOILWORK

LIGHTEN UP!! THINGS DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO MEAN (AND/OR BE LIMITED TO) WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO MEAN.

081581

Inquiring minds want to know.

No Soilwork, don't lighten up at all. These are jokes on this thread guys....and if 081581 doesn't like it, he needs to go elsewhere. My god, you really can ruin a funny post...lighten up with your comments or just don't say anything at all....and get a grip...they're JOKES

[WRITERPAUL]

And P.S....you trying to reference the Webster's Dictionary makes you neither interesting, humorous, nor intelligent, so try again...

[sparky95]

Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well? She broke three fingers calling for help!

[PHOENIXGMAN1982]

These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat.

He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs.

He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?"

"Hell no!!!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!"

The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton.

A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat."

And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush.

The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talkin'! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!!!"

[justsimon]

Phoenix, eew....




A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"

"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"

The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."

When dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."

"That's right, Dad."

"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."

"That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me."

[PHOENIXGMAN1982]

That's a good one sinfulsimon, heard it a couple of years ago.

Man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my ass"

The doctors says "drop your pants, bend over and let have a look". "Fuck me!!" says the doctor " what could have made a hole as big as that?"

Patient replies I've been fucked by an elephant".

The doctor says "An elephants penis is long and thin, this hole is enormous".

Patient replies "He fingered me first".

[justsimon]

lol

[PHOENIXGMAN1982]

Sorry for this one, but thought I'd post it anyway.





Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.



The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"



The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."

[luminum]

How does Helen Keller masturbate?

She stimulates with one hand and moans with the other.

Two muffins are baking in the oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Is it just me, or is it hot in here?" Then the other muffin says, "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

What's sadder than four black men in a car going off a cliff?

They were my friends.

[Soilwork]

What's black and crispy and knocks on a window?




a baby in a microwave.

[douseiai]

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.

[Jadin32]

How does Helen Keller masturbate?

She stimulates with one hand and moans with the other.

Two muffins are baking in the oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Is it just me, or is it hot in here?" Then the other muffin says, "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

What's sadder than four black men in a car going off a cliff?

They were my friends.

The muffin joke.....to me....was hysterically funny!!!

I have a VERY offbeat sense of humor and I find myself picturing this muffin with a shocked look on his face saying that!!!!
"Holy shit! A talking muffin!" TOO FUNNY!

[Jadin32]

Why don't Polish women use vibrators?



They always end up chipping their teeth!