Virgin ... Should I hookup?

To start out, I am 28, M, bi, and still a virgin. Looks wise I'm nothing particularly special nor do I have a big cock. Several months ago I met this younger guy who lives relatively close by and is 20 and a virgin too. The other night we were chatting online and all of a sudden he says 'I want to get fucked.' Which caught me off guard a bit. He has kind of a cute face, but is a bit chubby. I think he wants or is open to me fucking him.

I'm kind or torn on what I should do, and whether I should do it and maybe then I'd be more comfortable with things sexually. I've been kind of holding off because I had been talking to a guy that I thought was a relationship possibility, but he seems to not want to talk anymore. So, that seems like less of a possibility now.

Any thoughts on what I should do? Should I fuck this guy?

Go for it. Knock yourself out.

You haven't really talked about your attraction to the guy.

It sounds a bit like you want to use him to prove out the sex ground for you, but that you aren't attracted to him sexually or for a relationship.

If that is true, do you really want to begin your sex life with using another guy rather than having feelings for him?

If that isn't true, please explain.

Just turn off the lights and imagine you're fucking a really hot guy. Be creative.

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Originally Posted by mark1281

To start out, I am 28, M, bi, and still a virgin. Looks wise I'm nothing particularly special nor do I have a big cock. Several months ago I met this younger guy who lives relatively close by and is 20 and a virgin too. The other night we were chatting online and all of a sudden he says 'I want to get fucked.' Which caught me off guard a bit. He has kind of a cute face, but is a bit chubby. I think he wants or is open to me fucking him.

I'm kind or torn on what I should do, and whether I should do it and maybe then I'd be more comfortable with things sexually. I've been kind of holding off because I had been talking to a guy that I thought was a relationship possibility, but he seems to not want to talk anymore. So, that seems like less of a possibility now.

Any thoughts on what I should do? Should I fuck this guy?

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I am definitely in agreement with hard up, and I would add... If you waited this long and you have decided that you want to lose your virginity, then I think you need to be selective. I assume that was the reason you waited... Sex is easy to find, but intimacy is not.

Don't confuse the two.

Do what feels right for you in keeping with your own values. This is a human issue, not a gay issue. We all make our own choices for different reasons.

If it feels wrong, and you have to ask about it here, it probably means you need to slow down and figure out what your needs are and whether this is the way you want to begin your sexual existence. I measure all of my lovers against the first one. I think most people do.

IF getting off at any cost is the motive, then anyone will do, and Hunter's advice is your option.... But why did you wait for so long if not to be selective?

Remember, no matter what you do, it MUST be a choice that you are comfortable with, or it will overshadow your sexual experiences for the rest of your life.

Good luck. Hope you pick the path that is best for you.

Well, I don't think I would be taking advantage of him since he is the one that mentioned it to me. I hadn't really given any thought to doing anything with him. It was just something I hadn't thought about... it's unlikely I will do anything. Was curious to see what others thought.

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Originally Posted by mark1281

Well, I don't think I would be taking advantage of him since he is the one that mentioned it to me. I hadn't really given any thought to doing anything with him. It was just something I hadn't thought about... it's unlikely I will do anything. Was curious to see what others thought.

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You can't take advantage of the willing ;)

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Originally Posted by BostonPirate

I am definitely in agreement with hard up, and I would add... If you waited this long and you have decided that you want to lose your virginity, then I think you need to be selective. I assume that was the reason you waited... Sex is easy to find, but intimacy is not.

Don't confuse the two.

Do what feels right for you in keeping with your own values. This is a human issue, not a gay issue. We all make our own choices for different reasons.

If it feels wrong, and you have to ask about it here, it probably means you need to slow down and figure out what your needs are and whether this is the way you want to begin your sexual existence. I measure all of my lovers against the first one. I think most people do.

IF getting off at any cost is the motive, then anyone will do, and Hunter's advice is your option.... But why did you wait for so long if not to be selective?

Remember, no matter what you do, it MUST be a choice that you are comfortable with, or it will overshadow your sexual experiences for the rest of your life.

Good luck. Hope you pick the path that is best for you.

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Well, it's not so much that I've chosen to wait... things just haven't happened for various reasons. I've also not found sex easy to find... lol.

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Originally Posted by mark1281

Well, it's not so much that I've chosen to wait... things just haven't happened for various reasons. I've also not found sex easy to find... lol.

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Small town boy in the closet?

I still think the best advice anyone can give you is to think about what your needs are, think of what your goals are, make the best guess, and go with it.

Life is a work in progress. We learn just as much from our mistakes as our good choices. As long as you don't do something that gives you baggage so to speak, whatever you chose, you will grow in understanding about yourself sexually.

Get over there right now and jump his bones.

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Originally Posted by BostonPirate

Small town boy in the closet?

I still think the best advice anyone can give you is to think about what your needs are, think of what your goals are, make the best guess, and go with it.

Life is a work in progress. We learn just as much from our mistakes as our good choices. As long as you don't do something that gives you baggage so to speak, whatever you chose, you will grow in understanding about yourself sexually.

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Yeah, that and I am really very shy and often awkward around people.


I can say I am definitely not going to do it. Really I guess I knew that I wouldn't. It is just a situation that has never come up so it was an interesting thought. lol

Thanks everyone for the input. :)

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Originally Posted by BENDERBOY

Get over there right now and jump his bones.

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ha ha ha... I don't think that is happening ;)

The only suggestion I would add is to be careful that everybody's clear on the expectations, and nobody's feelings get hurt. Once upon a time, I had a bad experience along those lines, and I got over it, but it hurt for a while.

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Originally Posted by handyman76

The only suggestion I would add is to be careful that everybody's clear on the expectations, and nobody's feelings get hurt. Once upon a time, I had a bad experience along those lines, and I got over it, but it hurt for a while.

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Yeah, that would suck for someone to have the wrong idea about things. I wouldn't want that to happen.

I just thought I would give an update to the folks that gave me some varied advice. So far I haven't done anything with the aforementioned guy. Actually I haven't even seen him online to chat.

Regardless of that it doesn't seem likely anything like that (or dating in general) is happening for me anytime soon. Thanks all for the advice.

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Originally Posted by Hard-up1

You haven't really talked about your attraction to the guy.

It sounds a bit like you want to use him to prove out the sex ground for you, but that you aren't attracted to him sexually or for a relationship.

If that is true, do you really want to begin your sex life with using another guy rather than having feelings for him?

If that isn't true, please explain.

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In all fairness, I'm not sure it's "using" someone when they're asking to be fucked. Furthermore, love takes time. At the rate the OP is going, waiting around for "feelings" could cause him to be a 40-year-old virgin.

Do whatever you think is best,but personally I think you'd fuck him only because you want to fuck someone,and that's not good idea at all.

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Originally Posted by Enchanted

Do whatever you think is best,but personally I think you'd fuck him only because you want to fuck someone,and that's not good idea at all.

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Maybe not...

Everyone, knows what they want and the fantasy and reality may not meet, but it can.
Saying all that, I do agree fantasy and reality may not meet.

Having read all the responses.

You are both ready for it. Think of it as recreational sex with someone who isn't afraid to learn as they go along.

Although two virgins may need to read up a bit before hand or have some really hot porn going while you tear up the sheets just for guidance.

Go for it. But treat it like a FWB thing.

Sell you virginity to the highest bidder.

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Originally Posted by animalius

Sell you virginity to the highest bidder.

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Lol... That is an interesting approach. Probably not the one I want to do. Plus, I don't think the high bid would be that much. ;)

maybe I'm reading this wrong. He said he wanted to get fucked. Did he say he wanted you to do it or is he just saying he's wanting to experiment? I've told a lot of my friends I've been horny but I don't want to have sex with them. I simply was saying I was feeling randy. If he's interested then I don't see a problem with it. Just be on the same page as to what the expectations are for both of you.

Steven.

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Originally Posted by Georgiadude

maybe I'm reading this wrong. He said he wanted to get fucked. Did he say he wanted you to do it or is he just saying he's wanting to experiment? I've told a lot of my friends I've been horny but I don't want to have sex with them. I simply was saying I was feeling randy. If he's interested then I don't see a problem with it. Just be on the same page as to what the expectations are for both of you.

Steven.

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Well, that's a good point. He didn't explicitly state that he wanted me to do it. Just that he wanted to, and it was implied he was wanting to find someone to do it with. I didn't inquire further to get more detail about what he meant/wanted.

The next time you two are chatting online, ask him if he is interested in hooking up with you.

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Originally Posted by mbamike

The next time you two are chatting online, ask him if he is interested in hooking up with you.

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I haven't seen him online in a little while to chat with him. Though the more I think about it the more I think it isn't a good plan. So, it's just as well.

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Originally Posted by mark1281

I haven't seen him online in a little while to chat with him. Though the more I think about it the more I think it isn't a good plan. So, it's just as well.

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That's also a sign, he may be playing with you.


Good luck and be safe.

I say, if you have waited this long, why waste it on someone that you dont seem all that attracted to. Wait for someone that you really like.

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Originally Posted by mark1281

Lol... That is an interesting approach. Probably not the one I want to do. Plus, I don't think the high bid would be that much. ;)

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Regardless of how much the high bid will be, it's a hell of a lot better than how I lost my virginity. I lost it to a fucking rod when I had to get tested for std after the ex cheated on me, got an std from that hookup, and had sex with me after the symptoms became clear to him. Somehow I dodged the bullet there. Test showed negative even though he tested positive for 2 std's and were showing clear symptoms.

You could go to a gay bar and bend over.

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Originally Posted by animalius

Regardless of how much the high bid will be, it's a hell of a lot better than how I lost my virginity. I lost it to a fucking rod when I had to get tested for std after the ex cheated on me, got an std from that hookup, and had sex with me after the symptoms became clear to him. Somehow I dodged the bullet there. Test showed negative even though he tested positive for 2 std's and were showing clear symptoms.

You could go to a gay bar and bend over.

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Aw man that sucks that someone did you that way. Good to hear you didn't get anything!

I definitely don't think I will be going to a gay bar.