I Sucked A Straight Friend, Now He Acts Strange

Two nights ago I got wasted with my co-worker/friend Tom. He's 22 years old, hot as fuck and for the 3 years I've known him, he was as straight as they come. He's always known that I was bisexual and seemed cool with it, even if he did make a few jokes about me now & then. Anyway, we got drunk the other night and I ended up sucking his dick. It was fucking great at the time! He didn't reciprocate or anything, he just sat back on my sofa with his hands behind his head while I knelt and sucked him, but that was ok with me. He came in my mouth, then quickly jumped up and called his friend to pick him up -- he was out the door right after his phone call was done.

I'm starting to think that even though I got to mess around with this guy I've wanted for years, it might have been a mistake because at work yesterday he barely spoke to me all day. Things seem weird now and I don't know what to do. He was the one who initiated things by talking about how he needed a blowjob and then asking me if I wanted to suck his dick. Maybe he's afraid I'll tell someone, maybe he just feels awkward about it. What can I say to clear the air about this with him?

"It was just a blow job, not a marriage proposal."

well lesson learned i hope ..

Unfortunately, this is one of those occasions where it should have been kept a fantasy and kept in the casual flirtation stage.

As Tony Soprano said, "You can't put shit back in the donkey.".

Right now, he's all weirded out because he feels a bit dirty, maybe a bit "gay" for doing that. He wants to distance himself from anything that reminds him of that, and part of that means you. He's probably going to reassert his heterosexuality in loud, obvious ways, so that he is sure everyone knows he's str8- but its really not for them, its for him.

This actually happened to me as well, two summers ago. It ruined a really good friendship. My friend pulled the same stuff afterwards as well, and was actually a real shit about it. He did everything he could to "hurt" me to try and make me feel bad about what happened, to compensate for his own personal guilt. He backtalked me to my friends, and did a bunch of small, petty, childish behaviours.

Although what happened between us ruined our friendship, I do not feel guilt or shame. He and I had a great relationship as friends, and when we had sex it was between two consenting adult. It was a natural evolution in what we had to take it to the next level and be intimate. We both had a great time. It was his personal issues that ruined it, and his immaturity and behaviour afterward that destroyed whatever chance there was for us to regain a friendship.

I hope you can reclaim your friendship. You need to try.

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Originally Posted by Corny

well lesson learned i hope ..

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My thoughts exactly.

Drunken encounters don't make for the best "morning after" conversations. He could be confused, regretful, guilty, sad, scared, angry, happy, indifferent, busy...a combination of some or all of the above.

Give it time, and see if things chance. If not, the only way to know what's bothering him is to ask. I'd personally go for an open ended question rather than a specific one but depends on the situation.

So you sucked him off and you thought things would just magically go back to the way they were, didn't you? Like it never happened. The guy who was supposed to be your friend was in an intoxicated state, and you took full advantage of him, even if you're friend wasn't straight I wouldn't blame him for being upset. I don't mean to sound harsh, but speaking from a legal and ethical standpoint, you broke the rules. If he would not have consented in a sober state, it was wrong. Let this be a lesson. I'm all for drinking and getting wild, but don't do anything that would jeopardize your friendship with people in the process, or put you in an awkward situation in the morning after.

Should have told him thanks, but I value your friendship. Cus this freaked him out and he has guilt issues now.

He is afraid of many things right now and does not know what to do. But his nornal reaction is just to clam up and say nothing.

I would try to talk to him and tell him your sorry if he feels wierd and it was not meant to hurt him. Blame it on the booze if you need to. And just tell him that it will never happen again and agin that you value his frienship and want to stay friends.

Hopefully that will work, if not you may have lost a friend over a Bj..

People are allowed to have consensual sex when drunk. People are allowed to initiate consensual sex when drunk, even if they regret it the next day and act all weird about it.

If anyone wants to go looking to blame someone, it is just as likely that the "straight" guy used alcohol to lower the gay guy's inhibitions so the "straight" guy could explore a fantasy he maybe considers shameful. If this scenario had played out between a straight man and a straight woman, nobody would even be questioning the motive of the one giving the blow job.

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Originally Posted by bankside

People are allowed to have consensual sex when drunk. People are allowed to initiate consensual sex when drunk, even if they regret it the next day and act all weird about it.

If anyone wants to go looking to blame someone, it is just as likely that the "straight" guy used alcohol to lower the gay guy's inhibitions so the "straight" guy could explore a fantasy he maybe considers shameful. If this scenario had played out between a straight man and a straight woman, nobody would even be questioning the motive of the one giving the blow job.

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I didn't motive was in question here, Bankside.

And I agree - people are allowed to initiate and engage in consensual sex when drunk, but just because you're allowed to do something doesn't necessarily mean you should.

As for the scenario playing out between a man and a woman - well - in this case, the OP and the straight guy are friends. If a man and a woman were friends and they slept together, or the woman blew the man whilst drunk, I am not sure things could go back to the way they were (i.e., as if nothing happened).

It's a difficult situation for the OP - potentially alienating a close friend.

Hmmmm....Out of curiosity, did he ask you to suck his dick and/or have any kind of discussion about it beforehand? Also, have you had/do you have feelings for him? If so, does he know?

I guess there are different ways to look at the situation; he could feel guilty because he may have felt he was using you just as an excuse to get off, and it now makes things a bit awkward for him. A lot of straights will never admit it, but I feel like they're all curious at some point in their lives about doing stuff with other males (just my opinion). Being that you're bi, he must have thought you'd be the right one to experiment with. He could be afraid you want to try pushing things to the next level.
On the other hand, he may have thought you were trying to take advantage of him while he was wasted.

Anyway, I think you should just casually talk with him without bringing up the incident and try to act like a normal friend around him. Give it a few days and if he's still acting strange, then you should try to find out what his deal is. Let him know how important the friendship is to you. Also, it's only been one day that he didn't really talk to you.

I agree with catee. Have normal conversations with him, let him know that things haven't dramatically changed. When he sees you aren't making a big deal out of it, neither will he.

I think he wants to do it again

Your friend wants you to do it again

all u can do is bide your time, and be sure you are not acting any differently towards him since it went down. comntinue to treat him as a friend as you did before. the thing is, is that you cant take it back, and you cant regret it, so just move on with life and try to be the friend you were before. if he is a friend then eventually he will come around.

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Originally Posted by scrapple

I agree with catee. Have normal conversations with him, let him know that things haven't dramatically changed. When he sees you aren't making a big deal out of it, neither will he.

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i agree. don't mention it at all just have normal conversation and that will let him know it wasn't a big deal and maybe he'll adjust to it.

he'll probably call you again when he's drunk and horny. say no next time. that should teach him.

I haven't read the whole thread just the OP first post. But im sure someone has said it.

Dont eat where you shit. Meaning it was a bad idea to have sex with a co-worker. I have done it before and it caused problems. Of course there are times where it will work out but you should really avoid it.

As for what to say, just tell him that you won't tell anyone and its between you and him. But try not to bring it up until he says something or until you and him possibly do this again. Shit happens and you can't go back in time. Of course it will be awkward for him, he is pretty much in your situation just he is straight.

You have an excellent attitude about your experience,Halifaxboy8. Admirable. How shitty of him to get all scaredy-cat afterwards, like a lot of straight guys. And they call us "sissies"?!!!

He is probably confused right now after you blowing him - is he bi/straight/gay.... Also - here are some words to live with - don't shit where you eat. Work is work and outside of work is outside of work - the two should never become intertwined.

i thought when people are drunk they can't remember a thing ...
Just say you can't remember sucking him. :badgrin:






just kidding

but he will never want to forget you blowing him

Try letting him know that you are sorry and that you were both drunk and that you will not tell anyone. Then go and tell him you only have one life and at least you got your dick sucked by a guy and now that you tried it you can still be straight. If this were me and he blamed it on me after I talked to him, I would be so mad, though I wouldn't have done it.

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Originally Posted by Romalotti

Two nights ago I got wasted with my co-worker/friend Tom. He's 22 years old, hot as fuck and for the 3 years I've known him, he was as straight as they come. He's always known that I was bisexual and seemed cool with it, even if he did make a few jokes about me now & then. Anyway, we got drunk the other night and I ended up sucking his dick. It was fucking great at the time! He didn't reciprocate or anything, he just sat back on my sofa with his hands behind his head while I knelt and sucked him, but that was ok with me. He came in my mouth, then quickly jumped up and called his friend to pick him up -- he was out the door right after his phone call was done.

I'm starting to think that even though I got to mess around with this guy I've wanted for years, it might have been a mistake because at work yesterday he barely spoke to me all day. Things seem weird now and I don't know what to do. He was the one who initiated things by talking about how he needed a blowjob and then asking me if I wanted to suck his dick. Maybe he's afraid I'll tell someone, maybe he just feels awkward about it. What can I say to clear the air about this with him?

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Tell him what happened is cool with you and for him not to worry about it. Ask him if you and him are cool. It really shouldn't take more than that. It is not like getting a gay bj is a crime. It would be a crime not to get one IMHO. lol

Don't discuss it at all with him. That will make him even more uncomfortable. He's uncomfortable about it so don't talk about it.

If you want to make him comfortable around you like he was before the suck job then just start acting like it never happened. Don't act differently around him. Don't try for drama and talks.

Just say, "Hey, man, did you ever see that movie {fill in name}? It was funny as hell."

Then go about your work. Be casual, a bit distant yourself, but not at all different from how you were before you blew him.

I can't imagine you saying ANYTHING to him about that night that could make him feel comfortable if he's not feeling comfortable about it. You need to just leave it alone.

In no time you will be back to the friendship you had before the blowjob. I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back for another blow too.

Never mix business and pleasure, and Never shit where you eat....

We didn't discuss the blowjob for a while, but last week I sucked him off again. He kind of invited himself back to my apartment after work, we had a few beers, and this time HE was the one asking for it. Of course, I eagerly sucked his cock, and swallowed his jizz and everything. I know I have feelings for him, but I can ignore them if it means he'll let me blow him every once in a while.

So should I keep it up with him?

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So should I keep it up with him?

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Definitely. I would never miss a hot guy.

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I know I have feelings for him.

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Hey you are 29 and you're gay, he's straight. Don't start dreaming of impossible things. Look at the bright side: you can still suck him once in a while.
At some point I think you will have to decide if you want a relationship or just sex. If it is just sex your mate seems the perfect guy. For a relationsship start considering gay men.

I hate the saying "shit where you eat" or whatever. It just sounds retarded.

Wouldn't "don't fuck where you work" make more sense?

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Originally Posted by Romalotti

We didn't discuss the blowjob for a while, but last week I sucked him off again. He kind of invited himself back to my apartment after work, we had a few beers, and this time HE was the one asking for it. Of course, I eagerly sucked his cock, and swallowed his jizz and everything. I know I have feelings for him, but I can ignore them if it means he'll let me blow him every once in a while.

So should I keep it up with him?

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You're nothing more than a booty call for him. You'll suck his dick and swallow his load. He's justified he's not gay in his mind probably. Are you hoping he'll reciprocate some day?

Dealing with str8 and / or pseudo "bi" guys is a lesson all young gay guys need to learn, so you kick them to the curb early.

Who cares have fun. But if you are starting to get feelings for him then let me roll my eyes now. I think someone said you were 29? You are old enough to know what this is and what this isn't. Your mouth is where he gets off when he's horny and you are horny enough to let him get off in your mouth. That's it. This isn't a love connection. Like Joan Rivers would say, "Grow up!". lol

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Originally Posted by bluedragon4

Who cares have fun. But if you are starting to get feelings for him then let me roll my eyes now. I think someone said you were 29? You are old enough to know what this is and what this isn't. Your mouth is where he gets off when he's horny and you are horny enough to let him get off in your mouth. That's it. This isn't a love connection. Like Joan Rivers would say, "Grow up!". lol

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I couldn't agree more.
He is 29 according to his profile.

Allow me to play devil's advocate here and suggest that there may be a "reason" why a 23 year-old boy has huge dick and is a virgin... and maybe the reason is he is not interested in women. At the very least he likes what you gave him... but I wonder if he is now considering what his enjoyment of your activity means for him. For someone who was not prepared for this... his head may very well be spinning over it.

Who knows??

He's not a virgin, he's actually been with quite a few girls. Anyway, I've blown him three times since my last post. It's the same every time - he sits on the couch with his eyes closed while I kneel in front of him and suck him until he cums in my mouth. He's always drunk when this happens. He told me that he's not gay, but just likes getting an 'easy BJ' (his words). I can't help but have some feelings for him. I know it won't lead to anything, so I've decided to just settle for getting his dick in mouth every once in a while. He doesn't seem uncomfortable around me anymore. In fact, he occasionally jokes with me at work about it (he talks about his dick to me a lot lately. Things like 'I got a hard-on that won't go away today' while he smiles at me & 'I could go for a good blowjob later, what do ya think?'). Honestly, I enjoy sucking him so much, I don't think I could stop at this point.

probably the hottest bj he ever got now hes afraid your lips turned him gay.

The next time you blow him, before he comes but is getting close, ask him if he knows that a good rim and prostate massage intensifies an orgasm.

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Originally Posted by Romalotti

He's not a virgin, he's actually been with quite a few girls. Anyway, I've blown him three times since my last post. It's the same every time - he sits on the couch with his eyes closed while I kneel in front of him and suck him until he cums in my mouth. He's always drunk when this happens. He told me that he's not gay, but just likes getting an 'easy BJ' (his words). I can't help but have some feelings for him. I know it won't lead to anything, so I've decided to just settle for getting his dick in mouth every once in a while. He doesn't seem uncomfortable around me anymore. In fact, he occasionally jokes with me at work about it (he talks about his dick to me a lot lately. Things like 'I got a hard-on that won't go away today' while he smiles at me & 'I could go for a good blowjob later, what do ya think?'). Honestly, I enjoy sucking him so much, I don't think I could stop at this point.

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Romalotti, I've been down this road a few times and I think I know what's going on. Since you seem like a nice guy, I imagine your friend is a nice guy too. He was probably embarrassed after the first time--maybe because he was drunk and didn't have the presence of mind to politely decline your offer. (You know the old joke: What's the difference between a straight guy and a gay one? A six-pack.) Outside his discomfort--which he could rationalize as "a mistake"--he may have felt bad about leading you on, possibly making you think something more meaningful could happen between you. That could explain his distance afterward.

But the second time complicates things on both sides. He thinks you're cool with the "easy BJ" business--friends with benefits and all that--and assumes you understand that's all it is. That's why he let you blow him a third time. Meanwhile, you're thinking the complete opposite, i.e., this has potential. In other words, his head's in the locker room while yours is heading for the bedroom. He's not going there. He's not even thinking about going there and he thinks you know that. (Which you do, but...) That's why all of his dick talk is starting to surface. He's having fun, enjoying your arrangement. But since you're more emotionally invested in the arrangement, you're reading more into it than there probably is.

Before your feelings run completely away with you, I strongly advise you to take stock of the real situation. The fact that this only happens when he's drunk indicates he's using alcohol as his filter to deny any emotional involvement on his part. That he discusses it when he's sober, but doesn't let anything happen, confirms where his boundaries are. It's only a matter of time before you'll let slip your feelings for him and that will scare him off for good. So if you want to continue enjoying what sounds like a very tasty treat indeed, you need to detach yourself emotionally and take advantage of the opportunity purely for its physical pleasure. After all, that's what "friends with benefits" means.

Put the sex in one box and the friendship in another and take care not to confuse them. This will be tough, because I'm sure when you're not with him, you're thinking of him. You're also probably fantasizing about him when you're getting off alone. Try to avoid that. It only pours gasoline on a fire you won't be able to control. Focus your fantasies and emotional desires elsewhere. Then when you're with your friend, the experience will be more objectively pleasurable for you.

And here's an eventuality that may help you think this through. Sooner or later, your friend is going to meet a lovely lady and fall head-over-heels in love. That will put a sudden end to things, because he'll be concerned about betraying her trust. If you protest, he'll be confused, possibly even hostile, as your complaints will mean you're not a true friend and only want what's best for you, as opposed to his best. I've lost a couple of friendships this way.

Moral of the story: have fun in the locker room while you can and leave it at that. Expecting more, even wanting more will end in no good.

very well said mmaplus! I agree with everything but Romalotti; if I were in your situation I would probably continue doing it as well. He's obviously getting more comfortable with it but caution with your feelings because it can end abruptly.

I see nothing wrong with casual, consensual sex between two friends - just as long as you realize it's probably never going to go any farther than that. He's already said it to you, he just likes getting an easy blowjob, no bullshit attached.

Personally, I don't think I would want to get myself involved in a situation like that. While I like giving head, I don't like having to separate intimacy from sex. It just doesn't feel right to me, and if what you're really seeking from this arrangement is intimacy, you're going to need to stop and re-evaluate it.

If you're happy with getting to give a hot guy head, no strings attached, then what you've got going is perfect!

Been there. Done that.

Enjoy while it lasts, and don't ever expect anything more than what you're getting now. If you're okay with that...keep doing what you're doing.

Ok, here'd an update: It's been about a year since I started sucking off this straight guy. I still see him about once a month, it's gotten pretty intense. Basically, I'm still just sucking him off. He fucked my ass twice, no condom, he just shot into me. I know he's just using me for a quick fuck, but at this point I don't care. He's just a fantastic lay. Our deal is basically, I worship his cock, and maybe he pounds my ass afterwards. He won't let me kiss him but I don't care. He never gets me off, he just finds a way to spew and then he's done. I really love him but I know I'm just his easy whore at this point. What should I do? He has a girlfriend now but he's still fucking me.

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Originally Posted by Romalotti

What should I do?

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Oh come on...isn't it obvious?

1. If you are cool with being his whore and being his secret fuck toy his girlfriend probably doesn't know about, then keep doing it.

2. If you are looking for someone who can reciprocate your feelings, then look elsewhere.

So, which is it?

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Originally Posted by Romalotti

Ok, here'd an update: It's been about a year since I started sucking off this straight guy. I still see him about once a month, it's gotten pretty intense. Basically, I'm still just sucking him off. He fucked my ass twice, no condom, he just shot into me. I know he's just using me for a quick fuck, but at this point I don't care. He's just a fantastic lay. Our deal is basically, I worship his cock, and maybe he pounds my ass afterwards. He won't let me kiss him but I don't care. He never gets me off, he just finds a way to spew and then he's done. I really love him but I know I'm just his easy whore at this point. What should I do? He has a girlfriend now but he's still fucking me.

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This is called No Strings attached.
So keep doing it until one says no ... no more.

Drunk or sober you did not tie him up I take it when he shot his load he loved it. It is his problem ignore him. If he is a friend he will continue. However while I have serviced str8 I dont do people I work with.

This is great for him, but one day he is going to say it is all getting too hard (ha ha) that is , he can't be gay and he is being pressured by his woman and society.
So, it is all one way, just enjoy it, knowing that one day, despite his/your feelings it will end.

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Originally Posted by Romalotti

Two nights ago I got wasted with my co-worker/friend Tom. He's 22 years old, hot as fuck and for the 3 years I've known him, he was as straight as they come. He's always known that I was bisexual and seemed cool with it, even if he did make a few jokes about me now & then. Anyway, we got drunk the other night and I ended up sucking his dick. It was fucking great at the time! He didn't reciprocate or anything, he just sat back on my sofa with his hands behind his head while I knelt and sucked him, but that was ok with me. He came in my mouth, then quickly jumped up and called his friend to pick him up -- he was out the door right after his phone call was done.

I'm starting to think that even though I got to mess around with this guy I've wanted for years, it might have been a mistake because at work yesterday he barely spoke to me all day. Things seem weird now and I don't know what to do. He was the one who initiated things by talking about how he needed a blowjob and then asking me if I wanted to suck his dick. Maybe he's afraid I'll tell someone, maybe he just feels awkward about it. What can I say to clear the air about this with him?

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Damn, that does suck, guess that could have been the suspected outcome. However, I had a good friend in grad. school who did the same with me and thats how I discovered my bisexual urges. He and I were really hammered when he started rubbing my cock through my pants, I just layed back and was given what is to this day one of the best BJ's I have ever recieved. When done, I was scared, embarassed and just wanted to leave. I didn't talk to him for a few days, then asked him to go for a beer and we talked it out. We are both married now, are still friends and whenever he comes through town we find time to play. I hope it works out for you.:D

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Originally Posted by Romalotti

Two nights ago I got wasted with my co-worker/friend Tom. He's 22 years old, hot as fuck and for the 3 years I've known him, he was as straight as they come. He's always known that I was bisexual and seemed cool with it, even if he did make a few jokes about me now & then. Anyway, we got drunk the other night and I ended up sucking his dick. It was fucking great at the time! He didn't reciprocate or anything, he just sat back on my sofa with his hands behind his head while I knelt and sucked him, but that was ok with me. He came in my mouth, then quickly jumped up and called his friend to pick him up -- he was out the door right after his phone call was done.

I'm starting to think that even though I got to mess around with this guy I've wanted for years, it might have been a mistake because at work yesterday he barely spoke to me all day. Things seem weird now and I don't know what to do. He was the one who initiated things by talking about how he needed a blowjob and then asking me if I wanted to suck his dick. Maybe he's afraid I'll tell someone, maybe he just feels awkward about it. What can I say to clear the air about this with him?

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Was it like this?

i think you're very lucky and since both of you are happy with it keep doing it. i am so jealous by the way

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Originally Posted by Romalotti

Ok, here'd an update: It's been about a year since I started sucking off this straight guy. I still see him about once a month, it's gotten pretty intense. Basically, I'm still just sucking him off. He fucked my ass twice, no condom, he just shot into me. I know he's just using me for a quick fuck, but at this point I don't care. He's just a fantastic lay. Our deal is basically, I worship his cock, and maybe he pounds my ass afterwards. He won't let me kiss him but I don't care. He never gets me off, he just finds a way to spew and then he's done. I really love him but I know I'm just his easy whore at this point. What should I do? He has a girlfriend now but he's still fucking me.

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At this point you might as well continue to be his mistress since its been going on so long and its fun for you both. As far as you being in love with him, good luck with that. You're going to get hurt but you don't deserve sympathy because you understood going in that that he was using you for sex.

I had a similar situation with a straight guy that lasted 2.5 years. He'd just come by when he wanted to blow a load. The sex got better with every month, but it was always about getting him off. Then this past January he fell off the face of the earth. I'm guessing his wife found out.

It was great while it lasted and now it's over. Hope something similar happens again but had no illusions about what was going on.

At least I didn't work with him...

thanks for the update, i remember reading this when it was new.

i think you should keep doing it. as long as your fine with the situation. if your okay with never getting more than what he is willing to give you.