it's when i'm in a bad mood and i can't seem to find anything constructive or positive to push that negative energy into. it's like i can make the issue disappear for the moment where i don't feel anything BUT then when it resurfaces, i pretty much have to ride it out because no matter what i do whether it's going to the gym, writing, studying, watching tv, listening to music, saying the lyrics and getting my anger out while i'm saying it and the whole nine, i still have that anger all in me.
but now that i think of it, there was a distant memory way back over at my mom and my aunt's friend house way back in the day. her name was carol. my brother, me, her son, and i THINK my little cousins slept there one night and this was around christmas. i don't remember everything that happened BUT i was like 5 years old at the time. there was a little house party i believe with her and some other guys. one of the guys gave me a sip of a beer (a budweiser) and i went to sleep on the floor
i am TIRED as fuck. i feel like my throat is tightening up on me where i can't swallow. it feels weird. i'm googling it up to make sure that it's not one of the side effects of the zoloft. i think i'm going to bust to the us a nut again. YAY YAY!!!!
i know waka waka waka doesn't make any sense but if it didn't then, it does now.
anyways, i didn't get a chance to jerk off yet and i also feel like pulling and scratching whatever hair is on my head off my head. i am tired. why am i not in bed right now? my own mind and my behaviors are really starting to annoy the fuck out of me because it's not normal. it's abnormal. that's how i feel. well, i'm going to go to a psychiatrist this thursday so we'll see what the deal is.
just wanted to say that this is the first time in a long time that i can say that i am content with being single to the point where i'm not worrying or stressing or upset that i'm not dating or having sex. i don't feel like i'm missing out. some years ago, i remember getting heated and jealous of people around me that were in relationships, had friends with benefits and etc. now, it's a complete 180. even though i fantasize about it from time to time, it's nothing that's triggering any