I found jub as a horny 20 year old 9 years ago. Now im 29, and its been rough. My mom died of a drug overdose in 2006 at 46. I dropped out of college in 2011, and have had the same job since 2007. Ive traveled a bit and started talking to my dad again.
2 years ago quickly spiraled into depression that came out of nowhere.
A friend came up to me and said "it was nice knowing you", I wanted to ask him how he knew I was going to commit suicide - turns out he
theres a few guys at work who like me, but never having been in any long term relationship or even hookup situation - i dont know how to not let them feel like i am leading them on.
im not totally prepared to be with these guys the way they want.
for instance theres two guys at work who are gay and really quiet but partiers, and they are younger than me by 10 years! i get the sense they want to mess around.
my other friend closer to my age wants the same
so my repressed feelings came out yesterday.
one of my good buddies decided to play with me, gave me something of his to play with.
not his penis, but something he values.
sitting beside him, feeling his soft warm skin touching mine, so i decide to rub my elbow on his arm, letting him know i love him.
keeping myself from kissing him all i could think about was his beauty and warmth.
had we been alone i may have been able to feel
ive known this guy for a while and we talk at times, we dont hang out much but share a lot of ideas and interests.
essentially i dont know how to progress or maintain our relationship.
i dont think he realizes how isolated i am and the great amount of difficulty i have maintaining any relationships.
i am slowly starting to reciprocate the affection he shows me but don't know how to not be anxious around him.
i can only be really comfortable around