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    you really seem like a good guy, just very shy. I do hope that you worry less and enjoy more. But I understand those are easier words for me to type than for you to put into action. You must have an innocence and charm that attracts guys. From the blog note to the thread, that attention is a little scary to you.

    Just know that the attraction is real. That you seem to offer something other people want - friendship, opportunity to explore and flirt without having to commit. By that I mean, it seems that some straight guys want to be able to show a level of care and love that macho men might label "gay" and such label scares them. You provide them an opportunity to be a little more caring and loving without having to be labeled. Just a guess.

    Please do celebrate your life, please do take care of yourself.

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About evanrick

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About evanrick



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June 29th, 2012 04:50 AM
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December 14th, 2014 10:35 PM
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August 1st, 2004

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Recent Entries

9 year anniversary.....

by evanrick on August 5th, 2013 at 06:27 AM
I found jub as a horny 20 year old 9 years ago. Now im 29, and its been rough. My mom died of a drug overdose in 2006 at 46. I dropped out of college in 2011, and have had the same job since 2007. Ive traveled a bit and started talking to my dad again.

2 years ago quickly spiraled into depression that came out of nowhere.

A friend came up to me and said "it was nice knowing you", I wanted to ask him how he knew I was going to commit suicide - turns out he

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what the hell is with women?

by evanrick on June 15th, 2013 at 05:18 AM
what the hell is with women?

i have been taking medicine that drys out my skin and i get looks from middle aged women all the time. it seems they are the only ones to 'care' to notice...or people i know say something and i have to tell them.

continual sadness

by evanrick on June 1st, 2013 at 11:24 PM
theres a few guys at work who like me, but never having been in any long term relationship or even hookup situation - i dont know how to not let them feel like i am leading them on.

im not totally prepared to be with these guys the way they want.

for instance theres two guys at work who are gay and really quiet but partiers, and they are younger than me by 10 years! i get the sense they want to mess around.

my other friend closer to my age wants the same

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i dont know what i did but i fucking loved it

by evanrick on February 8th, 2013 at 05:16 AM
so my repressed feelings came out yesterday.

one of my good buddies decided to play with me, gave me something of his to play with.

not his penis, but something he values.

sitting beside him, feeling his soft warm skin touching mine, so i decide to rub my elbow on his arm, letting him know i love him.

keeping myself from kissing him all i could think about was his beauty and warmth.

had we been alone i may have been able to feel

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showing true affection

by evanrick on December 12th, 2012 at 04:03 AM
ive known this guy for a while and we talk at times, we dont hang out much but share a lot of ideas and interests.

essentially i dont know how to progress or maintain our relationship.

i dont think he realizes how isolated i am and the great amount of difficulty i have maintaining any relationships.

i am slowly starting to reciprocate the affection he shows me but don't know how to not be anxious around him.

i can only be really comfortable around

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