Well what have you been doing lately?
After such a prolonged absence you would be completely justified to expect a multitude of interesting stories and anecdotes about my life during these three JUBless years. Well no! Sorry!
When I logged out of JUB I think I somehow logged out of life at the same time. My quiet little life continued but at a significantly quieter pace. Not that I was miserable or depressed, certainly I was too far embedded in my solitude to experience any such strong emotions as that. Everything seemed to get put on “hold” as though I was awaiting some miraculous epiphany to extract me from the clutches of time. Well, of course, it never materialized and I continued along my chosen pathway, working, sleeping and enjoying the simple pleasures I allowed myself.
I fulfilled all my obligations, crawled out of my pit when necessary and lowered myself back in when released to my own occupations. But life wasn’t bad; I was still content, still considered myself a privileged member of the human race and still found joys and pleasures in being alone.
Obviously there were the occasional highlights which dragged me back out into the flow of life. Holidays with friends being the dominant factor in forcing me to relate with my fellow man.
Then the death knell to my greatest of pleasure; stop smoking or you may well not live to enjoy your retirement. Words that I wasn’t really ready to hear or wishing to apply to my pleasant little life. So back to JUB. I need its support as a structure to an otherwise unstructured life. I need it as something to do rather than burying my head in the sand. I need JUB as a stimulus to get out and do something rather than sit here bereft at the thought of having lost, what I considered, the most important thing in my life.
Every simple pleasure I had was intricately linked to smoking and by removing that I now need others to take their place. Other pleasures that I am not going to find sitting on my terrace contemplating the sea in sublime solitude.
Perhaps returning to JUB is the epiphany I have been patiently awaiting.