Giving Up on finding Relationship/Boyfriend
I have officially have give up on trying to find a relationship/boyfriend. I have tried everything from going to bar/club to online, etc, and no matter what i do;i always get rejected fast from guys that i am interesting in. The moment i tried to talk to them, everything was good, until i mention to them i am deaf, and bam, they left. Even other deaf guys are not interesting in me, most of them based it on the way I looks, my weight, my height, etc. I know that i am not cute nor handsome,hell even avg looking person, but what i lack in looks, i make it up in personally, etc.
i am very insecure about my looks, because i have been made fun of my whole life, and I just take it in and ignore it. Sometimes my friends would joke about it, and laugh about it too. I would laugh along because i am so used to it and when it comes to my look, i just feel numb toward it.
So i decided that I am going to stop looking, and stay single for the rest of my life I guess. I am not going to active seeking guys for NSA or anything like that anymore. Tried to form friendship too, but never works either. I do have lot of friends, but no gay friends which sucks because i want to find someone who have something in common with me that I can meet in real life.
Sometimes I feel invisible to everyone in my life, from my family to friends. I know that my family cares and love me, but it is like that they haven't take my feelings seriously, which cause me to want to move away and start fresh without them.
I believe that I am means to be single, and I am happy to be single, but I am not looking forward growing old alone, and being lonely. If i happened to find a guy then great, but until then I am happy to be single.