It is hard for me to believe that it is that time of the year again. The time of year where I take a few moments to sit down and review what has happened in the last twelve months. Sometimes this is not the easiest task to accomplish, either. So here we go - it is time to review calendar year 2012.

It started as nearly almost every other year had. With the resolutions that would probably never work out in the end, and the ridiculous ideas that things might just get better. Needless to say, these things didn't happen. I had written a few resolutions down, however not a single one of those happened. I don't feel as though I will be doing that in 2013. I simply do not see the point as I just let myself down each time that I do make these resolutions. There is only one thing that needs to happen - I need to be happy with all of the decisions that I make, and I need to be a happier person in general. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

My partner had moved into my home in 2011. I had thought that things would be wonderful between the two of us. In the end, I think I would say that things are OK. But they just aren't the best right now, either. And I know why that is. It is a part of both of us that is flawed, but I must admit that there are a lot of things that I am to blame for with this. My personality has changed significantly since he moved in with me. Many of the things that he has done has simply changed the person that I am for the worst. I have become such an angry person since he moved in with me. And it's the little things that he has done that piss me off the most. And to be honest, I don't know why that is. The fact that he leaves his dishes in the living room when we are done eating. The fact he doesn't clean the house when I am not home, and when he has not washed the dishes when he doesn't have a job. These things upset me the most. As well as him not having a job for the majority of the year. He simply expects me to be able to support him on a mere salary of $35,000. That is extremely difficult with rent of $800/month. Again, I digress as I am pulling away from the original point.

There honestly haven't been very many changes in the calendar year 2012. My job has stayed the same, my partner has stayed the same, I didn't really have any fun and exciting trips that were taken and whatnot. Simply put, the year was just as good and/or bad as another year. My job has been completely up and down this year. There have been very good moments, and there have been very bad moments. There have been so many periods of sadness and dark moments at the office that I thought I would simply just walk out of the company. However, on the other hand, the company did give me a very sizable bonus, and a nearly 10% raise in my salary. So I do feel somewhat appreciated. However when it comes down to it, I do need to ask myself if I am truly happy working for them. Because it's one thing to get a larger salary, and it's a completely different thing to be happy upon entering the office doors every morning at 5:00 AM. That is the question that I need to ask myself.

I am taking most of this next week (December 24 - December 28) off of work so that I may relax at home, however I know that I will most likely be called a time or two by the office for some items that may need to be taken care of during my absence (that just kills me, honestly. I can't even take a break without being bothered). I will be working tomorrow from 8:00 AM until 12:00 PM, but then I will be headed to my parents home with my partner for Christmas. I am not sure what will happen from there, though. In years prior, I would always open Christmas gifts with my Mom, Dad, and brother on Christmas morning. However, I am uncertain as to whether or not my partner will be willing to spend the evening with me at my parents' home. Last year, we ended up driving all the way home in order to go back there the next morning. I didn't quite understand his logic on that one, as they live approximately 50 miles away from me, but still. We will have to wait and see what happens this year.

In 2013, I really do hope to go back to school again. I tried in August and that didn't work at all. I simply got so very overwhelmed with everything that it just didn't work at all. I really hope to return in 2013, and I hope that it all goes well. I also hope to progress in my career. However in order to do so, I also don't see myself staying with the same company. The problem is that it is hard to do that when they gave me such a significant increase in salary. But again, I do have to look out for my own best interests, not the interests of my organization.

Warmest Regards for a Happy Holiday!
Dustin