there's something that's becoming increasing annoying when i hear the reactions as i'm coming out to other people.
it seems more and more and more like there's this growing idea that people don't believe me when i say that i'm gay. it actually surprised the shit out of me that nobody not even my own family could phantom the idea that i could be gay. i never brought any girls home, i never talked about dating and etc. how could you NOT know? it's like they're in denial like me being gay just can't be. like i seem too manly to be gay. i came out on this forum that i regularly go to where i've known most of the members for years and half of them were like "you're gay? you're trolling us. we don't believe you." i mean... they seriously thought that i was trolling them or like i was joking around with them. hell, some of them even held up high hopes for me that i would one day have sex with a woman since i've been known over there to bitch and whine about not getting any pussy or love from a woman. i would also go on rants and spazing modes about how much i hate this and that and i hate women because they won't give me any pussy and ying yang yang. very few members were able to figure that the reason why i was so mad was because i was closeted and having a hard time dealing with true self.
it just annoys me how people are shocked that i'm gay. like why are you shocked? my brother couldn't believe it when i told him. hell, him and my father think that i'm confused. they'll like maybe you need to date a woman to know that you're gay. it's that they can't picture ME out of all people being gay. i don't know what they expect. do they expect me to act like all super girly like, go to the cheerleader squat, play lady gaga and pop songs and etc. am i not gay enough for you to believe me? my brother thinks i'm bisexual but the problem with that is most of the signs point that i'm leaning over to the gay side of things. i had to explain to him what the situation was and he still thought i was confused.
you know, i think this is better than i expected it to be but i wish people would just believe me instead of thinking i'm making shit up. i'm not about to prove my gayness either. i don't have to sleep with a guy or suck a dick or have a boyfriend to prove to anybody shit. i also am not about to do the same thing with women either to prove it. i've been this far down the road to have to go into some confusion bullshit again because people don't want to accept me for who i am. i remember overhearing one time some guys at a gay bar looking over at me and some other guys, then saying that guy's gay and i think that guy's straight. i think he's at the wrong bar. don't know if they're talking to me but i wouldn't be surprised if i had some other gay guys that were unsure if i was gay. they might label me fucking bicurious or bisexual and shit. as if i'm not gay enough to be able to join their circle, that's annoying as fuck.