Things have been so very busy lately with me. I’m back now to twelve hour days during the week, if not longer hours than that. Several days in the past several weeks, I have been working more than 13 hours in a day. I have averaged approximately 62 hours in the past several weeks. I haven’t hardly had time to do anything besides work, to be honest. I believe that John (*) is getting somewhat irritated with me due to my job situation. Even more so, it is definitely taking a toll on my personal life and my emotions as well.

I have a huge regret of dropping out of college last summer, too. I think about that almost every day, knowing that I have left behind some of the goals that I had set in place for myself. It’s just very hard knowing that I have given up on something that was so very important to me. My education has always been an important aspect in my life, and it always will be as well. It’s just hard to manage my time with everything else that is going on. My relationship with John has been extremely difficult to manage, too.

In many ways, I don’t know that John and I are compatible. We hardly ever engage in any sort of sexual activity, and we seem to fight and argue all the time. I don’t really know why that is, either. He and I are constantly on different pages with so many things, too. And it’s also difficult with my being at work all the time – I feel poorly for that but I also have to consider my career in the grand scheme of things. I have already given up on my dreams of going to college, and I will never give up my career, though.

My longer hours at work are really taking a toll on my productivity at the office, though, too. My productivity levels have probably significantly decreased, although I have no true way to measure such things as that. It’s also difficult to track something such as that due to the fact that I have also been training in a new employee the last three weeks or so. I have also been so very irritated at work – I even sent an e-mail message to my supervisor this morning that wasn’t exactly the most polite. I regretted my words instantly after I had sent the message along to her.

I will end this message here – there is much more to follow – but I fear as though my thoughts are not the most clear as of this evening. I have so many things going on in my head right now.