another sad story in my sad life.
about a year ago i let a 'friend' move in with me who is a co-worker. this is someone who i suspected stole things from me in the past, but i have no way to prove that.
i never put much thought into what might happen if things didn't work out, because i have strong feelings for him, gave him the benefit of the doubt and fooled myself into believing i could handle anything.
but things did not work out.
turns out he just wanted to live with me to use me. i figured this out one day when i was in an accident, and he knew about it, but didn't even ask if i was ok, he just wanted to know what happened.
there were other subtle things that told me he didn't really understand how his behavior affects others.
i know i am guilty of that sometimes also, but i found his defiance to be the most unusual attitude towards me asking him to leave.
other things that were just missing basic courtesy that caught me off guard.
instead of him just doing what i asked, he did practically every thing he could to make it as difficult as possible for me.
this is after his parents had him move out, i become the new 'parent'.
he has been wanting to live with me for years, even asking if he can sleep in my closet when i lived somewhere else, trying to force his way into my room, and coming into my room when i was sleeping.
so he had friends over, who i think influenced him, so i had to call the police to get them out.
he left some of his things behind, a few months pass and i ask him when he is coming to get his stuff.
he said that he thought i threw all of his stuff out, i don't think he thought that because he is an expert at playing the victim.
so he comes to get his stuff and immediately goes back to his old game of being as defiant as possible.
after everything i did for him he hasn't changed at all, even gotten worse.
he starts talking to his scheming friends again, giving out personal information about me, then lying about it and starts harassing me at work.
i would have been hurt if i didn't find it so unexpected and childish.
i talk to his manager at work, then he starts saying that he is going to try to get me evicted out of my home.
then he calls looking for me at work. i dont know if this was before or after i told my managers that he has been harassing me, but nonetheless he calls.
i really don't think he understands what he wants, or has removed a part of himself in decision making so to spare his sense of self.
every thing ive done since has been to minimize the drama. things i really regret is not talking to him sooner, and not taking his feelings into account.
he has had every opportunity to talk to me, he has my phone number, but for some reason decides to involve work.
now he acts like i am out to get him when i never wanted to hurt him. i could have been more supportive, but i just could not comprehend his mindset or tolerate it.
but i don't see things getting better, it seems each time i try and reach out to him it just drives a bigger wedge.
i dont think its about anything but getting back at me anymore. the only thing i have is knowing that he must know to stop involving work and our co-workers as its none of their business. for his sake i hope he does.
we are both adults and need to resolve this in an adult way.