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sixthson

Sometimes I wonder

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if things will ever get better for young gay people. A year ago, my nephew told me he thinks he might be gay. He also said he didn't want to be gay.
He is 25, out of the air force one year and working on becoming a drunk. His mother, my sister, is
a mean spirited, homophobic, angry person.
My nephew thinks she suspects he is gay because
she used to call him a sissy when he was a teenager when he made her angry. More than once she told him
no son of hers would be a fag like her brother Dan.
Not if he wanted to remain her son, that is.

So, for the last year, I have cried with him, held him, loved him and tried to help him come to terms with his life. He has done well, despite many set backs. The biggest setback was talking to his parents about his sexuality. As we expected, my sister went ballistic on him, even beat up on him. His father, a passive person, sat by and did nothing. Despite all this, he stayed sober, but I feared he might harm himself.
He leaned heavily on me and my family.
This week, his father died unexpectedly. He loved his dad and believes his dad loved him, but he knew his father was weak. Alcohol was a part of their lives, too. Now, there is no closure with his Dad.
When I got the news of his father's death, I called him. The only words he could get out were "Uncle Danny", then about 5 minutes of sobbing.
He is on his way to see his mother and siblings. I am hoping and praying for the best.
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Comments

  1. refujiunderground's Avatar
    wow... my condolesences to him.
  2. DR-B's Avatar
    [B]Sixthson -

    I, too, question whether or not things will get better. Being 24 now, I have to say that things are sometimes difficult for all of us. Much better than in the past, I would say, but still difficult nonetheless. I am, however, hoping that things will get better in the future. The younger gay men need people such as yourself (understanding and caring) to lean on. I am sure that your nephew appreciates you so very much - he's lucky to have a person with whom he can speak regarding his sexuality, and anything else.

    I am very sorry for both yours and his loss. I can't imagine how your nephew nor your family must feel right now. I sincerely hope that alcoholism doesn't take over him. I know how difficult that can be as it is something that I recognize from my own family, regrettably. I sincerely hope that things get better for him.

    I had only seen this message today; I know that it is nearly one week since you posted the entry, however I wanted to share my thoughts.

    Best Regards,
    Dustin
    AKA DR-B[/B]
  3. sixthson's Avatar
    Thanks, Dustin.
    Since the death of his father, he has regressed, I'm afraid, including drinking again.
    He has a good brother who will be there for him and a sister who is homophobic.
    His best buddy and he have experimented with each other, so he knows what he likes
    and wants. Getting to accept himself is the problem. His buddy is the best thing that
    could happen to him. He loves my nephew and is very patient and understanding with him.
    My fear is that my nephew will self destruct.
  4. DR-B's Avatar
    [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0000FF"][SIZE=3]Sixthson,

    My apologies - I have not been on JustUsBoys very much lately, and apparently not since July. Therefore, I am only seeing your response now.

    I am sorry to hear of the drinking again. It is a shame when people do turn to that, it is truly very saddening to me. I am thankful to hear that he has a good brother there for him, but sorry to hear of the homophobic sister. That truly is a shame.

    I understand about him knowing what he wants as well. There comes in a time in our lives when we do know what we want. For me also it was a matter of do I accept this, or do I try to be someone whom I am not? Of course I chose to accept it, and my family was very good about it as well. I sincerely hope that your nephew is able to get to this stage as well, though I fear that he will have more challenges than I did with the background you have shared.

    I also sincerely hope that your nephew does not self-destruct. I would hate to see that happen. I know that you are there for him, so hopefully he will come to you and his friend in times of need to talk about things that need to be spoken about. Hopefully he will not do anything to hurt himself.

    Given the time lapse of my messages (I truly apologize), is there any update regrading your nephew, if I may ask?

    Best Wishes,
    Dustin[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]
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