So I felt the need to take a bit of a break from JustUsBoys after my own little booze-fueled meltdown in combination with far too much drama on here. I do apologize for my actions and hope said people forgive me.
Unfortunately, said drama entered into my RL too and it got me thinking again whether drama follows me around or I resonate some type of aura that attracts it. The first crazy event was not even of my doing. A neighbor rang the doorbell at around 1:30am and said "my brother has my dad's gun and I think he's trying to kill me." Wasn't sure if it was a joke or not but he was hyperventilating so I assumed it true. I tried to calm him down and I called the cops but while we were walking across the street to his house, his brother was standing there with said gun and then he put the gun to his head and shot himself. I am still a bit traumatized and speechless from witnessing that. I have never physically seen someone actually die in front of me.
Then that Thursday, I see in the mail that I got a "certified letter" from the post office. Any person who has ever gotten one of those knows it means trouble. So I go to pick up said mail and I realize right away it is from my ex due to the handwriting of address. It's a bunch of letters in a manila envelope that he typed up for me. Now with my belief, when you write said type of letters, YOU DON'T FUCKING SEND THEM!!!! I got through 4 of them (there were 7 total) and felt the need to contact my lawyer and have him write up a cease and desist letter to my ex. No life-threatening stuff but lots of fucked up emotions as if he were in a manic phase.
At that point, I just had to dump my current BF and he understood that I needed to sort shit out and I did not want to burden him with my woes. If it wasn't for reading books and cloistering, my emotions would have been dumped onto someone else with tragic results. At least now things seem stabilized to where I can carry on without lashing out at someone.