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Life without my best friend

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The house seems empty now and has felt empty for the past 5 days. I miss looking over at her corner where her cushioned bed used to lie and seeing Sam lying there, sleeping. I miss waking up in the morning and stepping around her where she used to sleep on a second cushion beside my bed. I miss taking her outside, and I miss buying her the pepperette treats she so enjoyed when I came home from the grocery store.

Even if I had no plans to buy groceries, I had to stop at the store on the way home to get her treats. She so looked forward to them.

I even miss giving her two (and sometimes three) pills in the morning and two more at night. I miss her barking at knocks on the door. I miss her sitting at my feet, looking up at me as I scratched her behind her ear.

I miss her smell and I even miss all the long hairs I had to scrape up from the carpet twice a week. I miss filling her water dish and food bowl. I miss her lying there, watching me eat my supper, ready to pounce on the morsel of food which fell from my fork. I miss giving her pieces of my sandwich or left-over chicken which I was unable to finish eating.

I miss the sloppy licks on my cheek.

I miss Sam, but I know she is free of the pain and discomfort she has endured for the past few years of her life. I cannot grieve for that.
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