When parents go bad.
I was once involved with a women. She was my first actual relationship. Even though I'm gay to this day I'am deeply in love with her. I will do anything for this women. She is the mother of my gorgeous daughter and a absolute wonderful women. In fact she is the whole basis for this blog. Since this is my first attempt at this I'm just going with what comes out.
When I meant my ex-wife I had no idea what complexities where hiding underneath the service. I had no idea that this unbelievable women had such a horrific and terrible childhood. Actually childhood isn't the correct description. She has had one hell of a shitty life. Up til we met that is... :D , but even that ended in hurt and more pain. As I came out after we were married. Shortly after we met I went with her to meet her mother, it was then and only then that I started to put the pieces together. That this women had came from a unbelieveable mess of a life.
Her mom lived in a 2 bedroom trailer which at one time held 3 kids. Two sons and a daughter. Ages ranging at that time of 22, 15 & 12. The eldest being my then girlfriend. The oldest of the two sons thought he was the next Tupoc and acted like a complete wanksta. Since he was far from it..At times it seemed so funny. Although the under lying reasons for his behavior were anything but disastrous. The youngest boy had severe emotional issues. Stemming mostly from his big bro always kicking the shit out of him. He was exposed to the most violent movies and horror flicks that no youngster should have ever seen. When I met them all, he had seen more horror movies then I had at age 16. He was by far one of the most violent 12 yr olds ever. But underneath that anger, and emotion was a good soul. A person who given the right enviroment could be a great person in society.
Now my wife who I have not talked very much about yet is the most complex of em' all. She has by far endured the worst of it. Being through the worst of what this whole blog is about. Parents gone fucking nuts. It started with her biological father taking off and moving to another state. Never to call, write or even try to make contact with her. Both boys have a different father, which were about to get to. This monster is lucky he died before I met him. He decided that since my ex wasn't his daughter that meant she was a green light for sexual encounter. None of which I know any specific's. Just that there were more than one, and of different varieties. So does the mother support her child. Naw..she just thinks that her daughter is upset because her real father left her. So the mental stress of knowing her husband is fucking her daughter must have been to much reality for the bitch of a mother cause she turns to heroin for assistance. ..| After all we know that if you can't deal with life and the pressures wherein the best thing to do is shoot up. By this time my ex is 11 and discovers that mommy is having another child. Thats when she turns into child/parent protector. Her youngest bro was primarily raised by my ex. Due to the fact that they were constantly in and out of drug houses and such. Not to mention the fact that they spent a great deal of time on the street. What a great system we have here in America. Good to know that real bad parents get to keep their kids but if you spank your kids they get takin away. Fuckin Idiot America...Green Day hit it right on the head.
Anyway now the mom and the step father decide that sexual abuse isn't enough. We should start beating our kids. My ex always got the worst of it. As talks with the bros turned up. They admitted that they had it good compared to her. After all she was "a dirty little slut" as her mom called her at age 12. That was her nickname. Well I'll be honest. I rarely seen this side of her mom. In fact after the step-father died her mom stopped most of her problems. Cleaned up and dried out. She became addicted to prescription drugs instead of heroin. Much better... ](*,) Mind you I just started learning about this stuff after about a year of dating my ex. She walled up much of it, and to this day she claims there's much I have no clue about. Which given what I do know, given what I have left out..that terrifies me.
So I'm gonna skip to present day in this story. My ex is truly amazing. She is one of the strongest women I have ever met. Does she have issue's, sure. We all do. Does she have security issues, or trust issues. Fuck yeah..after all her first serious love married her than told her he was gay. (Me for those of you that are behind). She is now one of my best friends.
Why am I bringing this up now? Well the other day my ex receives a phone call from one of her bros at work. He leaves a message saying there is a family emergency somethings wrong with mom. She gets the message the next day. She has moved roughly 2 hours away from where her mom and bros live. So going over there isn't the easiest thing to do when you have a child and job and a new fiancee. Nor is it something she really wants to do but felt it necessary considering she loves her bros. A couple of days later she finds out that her mom is in a mental institution and such. The details were very scetchy and didn't add up. So she arranges a day off and drops off my daughter on the way to going to see her mom. The following really upset me. Mind you I left out all the good things about her mom. I left out all the weeks I spent at their house/trailer when we were dating. All the times her mom helped me out financially or with advise. She wasn't the person she was before or the person she is now. So my heart dropped to hear the news that follows.
What happened was this. For the last year her mom has switched from prescription pill addiction to crack. She hangs out again with her bro who got her first addicted to heroin again. She hit up her sister at a gas station for money, just a coincidence meeting, and didn't even know it was her??? She begs for money from her eldest son and when he doesn't give it to her she screech's and screams that all this is his fault and he should of been givin up for adoption. All the horrible insults and verbal abuse that my ex put up with for years prior.
My ex found this all out when she went to pick up her younger bro to go see her mom. She never went to see her.
Her older bro has moved out of his moms rented motel room, into his own trailer and moved in his girl and younger bro who he takes care of. He has long lost his punk thug attitude and has embraced his sister back into his life. (For awhile he hated her for leaving them) The younger bro is too finding a new love for his sister. They had a good long visit and my ex got to see her first nephew.
I sit here now in a stunned awe of all this. Writing this all down on my computer has brought back many memories and many unpleasant reminders of a different side of life. Not all of us have loving homes. Not all of us come from a place we wish to remember. Not all of us have it so GODDAMN good. I hate little punk motherfuckers who diss their parents and treat them like shit when they love their kids. They don't deserve good parents. When 3 kids can grow up in such a fucked situation. Such a mental catastrophe. I don't understand why things like this have to happen to people. I don't know why God lets these things happen. What I do know is I have never in my life been more proud of my ex and her bros. The news about the oldest bro being a man and taking care of his younger bro is amazing. You have no idea the distain they had for each other growing up. I have always givin it up for my ex. She is truly an amazing women that few people will ever know. I love her. I will always love her. I hope good things for her and her bros in the future.