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  1. The Ex - an update

    Firstly thanks to all the guys out there for all their support - it is REALLY appreciated as i have few folks to unpack this on and my mates who know what's happening aren't always there at all hours. So as u know i arrived back in south africa after being delayed in heathrow for a couple of days and eventually arrived three days late. Off to the hospital to see Sean. I managed to corner his internist who gave me the low down and access to his chart ( one of my few doctor privilages). The boy was ...
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  2. Shit meet fan - Fan meet shit

    i swear i live from one crisis to another - not that many people care but hey. So i'm at work the cell rings its an international call from home - maybe its my family. So i answer - SHOCK. Its Sean my ex who i haven't seen or spoken to in forever since we broke up. I am speachless. my mind is just racing - where did he get my number , how does he know where i am and what the fuck is he doing phoning me . He's the one who wanted the grand divide for shit sake and blamed it on me! So i do the small ...
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  3. Just me

    So what's all about really. The purpose - the plan - the grand scheame of things. We live in a cruel crazy beautiful world where most of us just try to survive one day at a time. Where's the substance where's the meat to this existance. i feel very detatched -like a leaf in the wind being blown hither and thither. I'm like a tree without roots or a ship without an anchor - how long can i survive before i perish for lack of nurishment or am broken against the rocks when the next storm comes. i get ...
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  4. A step in the right direction ?

    whilst commenting on someones thread the other day irealized i've been single for 3 years with no sex ( thay make for some huge forearms i tell u ). i suppose it was my discision really as i had broken up with ex - a really messy affair about my career and his lack of one . i naturally buried myself in work. Now i find the gay thing difficult in south africa - it better now not like in the past but still u can't help feel shit scared someones gonna take a baseball bat to your head for being different. ...
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  5. Finding my heart

    SO I'm back hope you all missed me - sorry i need to sort myself out as i had a lot of things going on in my head. Hopped in the truck early Saturday not having a clue where to go - switched on the radio and they were playing "go west young man" - i shit u not so i headed west from toon town (Saskatoon for all u non Canuks). 17 hours later i was in Vancouver - couldn't ride any further so i went to the beach had a swim and thought i should find a place to stay so i asked around some yoga ...
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