in doing so, i started to take some steps. i first started watching logotv with the a-list new york and 1 girl 5 gays. at first i felt weird doing it but then it felt like nothing after awhile. this went on for like two months. then in september when my 25th birthday was rapidly approaching, i decided to work the courage to question my sexuality. it took me a good while to actually say it in my journal. i remember doing that back when i was 17 when i was about to graduate high school that
it's been a year (the 18th) since i graduated from college and i still haven't found a job yet. however, i am in the process of applying for the police department of my town as well as the state troopers that counts as something.
around this time last year, my brother was in my room playing mortal kombat that he got using the gift card that he got on his birthday. i had just finished taking my final exam for the last class i needed to graduate. i was also looking on craigslist
you know, for the past month or few weeks or so i've been really thinking.
i've looked in the mirror, i've really been paying attention to myself, assessing myself and the whole nine and i'm still the same person i was before i had the balls to question my sexuality and ask people for opinions regarding it. i still think i'm ugly, my self esteem isn't high at all, i still am the angry, hateful, huge critic guy that i was a year ago. i'm a truth seeker that has a bit of a hard
you know.... i've been noticing how i interact with people a lot more often. i seemingly get along with women more so than men. almost all of my best friends are males. it's a small circle that i keep close because we're in the same neighborhood within walking distance of each other. some are out the radius though.
but back to the subject, i've been noticing how i interact with people. the first thing that i have to say there are a few red flags. besides the way i talk, how
maybe i should come out. well, not to my family but damnit, i'm gay and proud and it's not bad at all. in fact, it's the best thing ever. just jerked off yesterday now to this young guy bouncing around his pecs at a swimming party for some austrailan stripper site. had to get off to that.
i think i'm finally letting this shit get on my skin and it's making sense to me now. i'm going to go to the gym now. later.