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  1. have the crazy feeling that something's about to happen to me.

    don't know, man BUT i can feel it. it's almost like one of those "watch your back" type of things. went to the therapist today and it went down pretty well. for some reason, i felt like who's face in here. i thought about dude when i was in the office. don't ask me why BUT i kind of thought that i was him. weird enough BUT i have the fucking feeling that something is about to go down. who knows. maybe i'll be hospitalized, run into somebody, make a new friend, get really ...
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  2. well, i'm sorting out help from mental services for a psychiatric evaulation

    the thing is i'm nervous about this whole thing because it's almost like i'm crawling up the same tree i fell from feeling disappointed.

    last time i went to a shrink which was a psychologist in march, them and me talked about certain things. i was sharing certain things with them and they pretty much narrowed it down into whatever they thought was a major issue and what wasn't a major issue. i got a bit pissed off actually. i felt as if i was wasting my time. there were certain ...
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  3. i'm watching these documentaries about crime, criminals and stuff.

    you know, i was watching msnbc lockup yesterday with the lexington, kentucky county jail. there was one inmate there that really got me angry. it was a woman that beat her mother up and burned her with a curling iron. she knocked her two front teeth out. when i heard that shit and saw that she had no remorse or whatever, i was heated. now, i don't know what the household was like, if the mother had abused her when she was a child or whatever could have played a part to make her do that BUT ...
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  4. wow. okay, i'm bugging out.

    well, i think i've spent too much time on the computer where i'm starting to wonder to go through a process of derealization. i feel fucking pathetic. PAT-HE-TIC. for real.

    i don't even feel like saying much real. fuck it.
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  5. part 2

    so we got out the car and headed to the white house. we took some pictures. you know, i had to go back to the car to get my mom's camera that she forgot. once again, when i was walking to and from my mom's car, i once again got a chance to see how the hatred for myself was showing. i was literally waiting and anticipating people to say bad things about me as i walked past them, hearing people laugh at me, thinking that i was retarded. here i was scared to death of criticism of the things that ...
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