so my repressed feelings came out yesterday.

one of my good buddies decided to play with me, gave me something of his to play with.

not his penis, but something he values.

sitting beside him, feeling his soft warm skin touching mine, so i decide to rub my elbow on his arm, letting him know i love him.

keeping myself from kissing him all i could think about was his beauty and warmth.

had we been alone i may have been able to feel ...

ive known this guy for a while and we talk at times, we dont hang out much but share a lot of ideas and interests.

essentially i dont know how to progress or maintain our relationship.

i dont think he realizes how isolated i am and the great amount of difficulty i have maintaining any relationships.

i am slowly starting to reciprocate the affection he shows me but don't know how to not be anxious around him.

i can only be really comfortable around ...

i could talk all day about how much i love feminine men.

men that have big butts, small chests, feminine faces and arms, long hair and pretty eyes.

men who speak softly and walk softly. whose seductive glossy eyes will tell you everything about him.

men who may not or not be hairy, may or not be tall.

a guy who is comfortable with a guy and at the same time in touch with their feminine side.

who else loves feminine men?

theres a guy i know that has been trying to get me to hang out with him for years. i never have because im so intimidated by his beauty.

sometimes i feel he is a younger me, one without the problems i had growing up, and i think its fate and some luck that i know him.

but i think he has a fantasty about me, that im a well rounded man but im far from it.

he does everything to maintain contact with me, i dont do anything. i feel bad for all the effort he has ...

when im gone?




i wish that car had killed me when i was 5 so i wouldnt have to live through this

what difference does it make if im alive or dead

lots of people commit suicide every year i wouldnt be out of the ordinary

nobody knows what i have planned that i think of dieing every day

ill try a little longer