I have passed 5,000 posts, and as I suspected, it means very little.
Chronic pain can be a very difficult thing to deal with, especially when it does not seem to let up. Almost all of the discs of my lower back and ruptered, torn, or bulging. Arthritis is a major issue in my entire back as well as painful sciatica causing severe and debilitating pain down the left leg. The discs in my upper neck are ruptured causing numbness with trembling and very poor coordination in my left arm and hand.
I can stand for no more than 30 minutes without my leg giving
I have been invited to go to a wedding next Saturday. I would rather have my rectum pulled out through my mouth. Why? It's a hard right evangelical wedding. I promised my Sister I would go and she promised to keep me out of fights. This is the third wedding for my "in the closet", homophobic, family member.
I hate to be cliche', but keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am going for the sake of a terminally ill family member, whom I may never see again.
Sorry for the gloomy blog entries, but it is a form of therapy for me. In spite of a change in medication, I can't get over the desire to do something bad to myself. Responsibilities that I have to family, is keeping me from tipping over the edge.
Does anyone remember when I died? What condition was my body in? Did anyone bother to find me or even care? Was I buried or allowed to rot where I lay?
I recently purchased two gay DVD's. "Scandal in the Vatican" and Scandal in the Vatican 2. I have to say that among gay porn films they are the best I've ever seen. The films are edited in such a way that you would swear they were actualy in the Vatican. Beautifuly filmed, with high production values, it is a fantasy, as to what might go on behind closed doors. Of course if you are Catholic, prefer hairy Bears, cut cocks, or extreme sex, this film is not for you. It took a lot of nerve