I have passed 5,000 posts, and as I suspected, it means very little.
I have been invited to go to a wedding next Saturday. I would rather have my rectum pulled out through my mouth. Why? It's a hard right evangelical wedding. I promised my Sister I would go and she promised to keep me out of fights. This is the third wedding for my "in the closet", homophobic, family member.
I hate to be cliche', but keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am going for the sake of a terminally ill family member, whom I may never see again.
Sorry for the gloomy blog entries, but it is a form of therapy for me. In spite of a change in medication, I can't get over the desire to do something bad to myself. Responsibilities that I have to family, is keeping me from tipping over the edge.
Does anyone remember when I died? What condition was my body in? Did anyone bother to find me or even care? Was I buried or allowed to rot where I lay?
I recently purchased two gay DVD's. "Scandal in the Vatican" and Scandal in the Vatican 2. I have to say that among gay porn films they are the best I've ever seen. The films are edited in such a way that you would swear they were actualy in the Vatican. Beautifuly filmed, with high production values, it is a fantasy, as to what might go on behind closed doors. Of course if you are Catholic, prefer hairy Bears, cut cocks, or extreme sex, this film is not for you. It took a lot of nerve
It's always best to watch what you do, and not reveal too much about your private life. My recent sexual encounter has caused a lot of tension with gay people and friends that know me. People gossip and tell everything. I should have known that it was reckless, and I should not have fallen for male beauty, no matter how sexy. I can't say more other than even though I did nothing wrong, the encounter could have cost me. Enough said.