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  1. Random thoughts ongoing.....

    In my travels through JUB I am somewhat saddened by the amount of lonley people I see here(me included).I wish I could take each of you one by one and talk.There is something in me that wants to fix everyone(in fact my favourite song is 'fix you').I realize this is impossible.I realize it is foolish.I also realize I have to touch as many lives as I can.
    I admit to being one of the "walking wounded".I have gone through pain that almost killed me several times.But the ...
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  2. Cries for personal help?

    I read a post from someone from Dec1 and they really sounded like they needed help.I didn't find it until this morning and in my alarm that someone needed some comfort that I might be able to provide I answered it not knowing I was three days late.I checked to see if there were any new posts........nothing.I began to wonder if some cries aren't real?Are there some sixteen year olds sitting in a bedroom somewhere making up things to get the fags to answer.I very seldom post an answer,but I pm them ...
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  3. Notes from a diabetic coma

    My cousin Michael died of AIDS twelve years ago today.He was more than a cousin,he was my friend.We lived together on a off for years.We partied HARD.We loved each other very much.I miss him.I got to take care of him the last two weeks of his life.I (living in a small town)hadn't had AIDS enter my life in any way except for what was on the news or in the paper.I wasn't prepared for my first sight of Michael.He was only fourty,yet he looked seventy.He looked like my grandfather at the end of his ...
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  4. Saying good bye to a fantasy

    There is going to be some self pity here so if you don't want to hear it,go now.Violins please,I made up a whole fantasy about a man I will never meet.It started as a playful thing on the net and I blew it out of propotion,making it the most beautiful love story I could imagine.He was nice,sexy in his pm's to me,and always pm'ed me back.I realize now that he was just being nice.Boy,sometimes life can make you stupid.....I made me stupid.At that time I was having a hard time.I started questioning ...
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  5. On watching straight men

    I was just reading the JUB blog about Chi Chi La Rue's newest DVD.It's straight men(porno stars )jerking off.I think this is rediculous.Why?What for?Is La Rue saying that there aren't enough gay men who are just as beautiful or even better looking then these straight men and who are willing to have sex with a gay man?Why bother with the straights?If the DVD was straight porn stars having gay sex I would watch just for the curosity.I know that the straight thing is a fantasy of gay men and god knows ...
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