http://www.justusboys.com/forum/blogs/325845-freefall JustUsBoys Forum en Sun, 26 May 2013 03:50:17 GMT vBulletin 30 http://www.justusboys.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.justusboys.com/forum/blogs/325845-freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/9686-My-first-job Sun, 06 Jan 2013 12:21:53 GMT So...tomorrow I'm going out there and start working professionally for the first time. Maybe it sounds weird for you folks here (who decide to stop a while and read this little post...oh well) but in Asian countries, unless in China or for very very poor people, youngsters don't usually work, even part-time, until they graduate.

Actually, I kind of lied - it's not a real job, it's just apprenticeship slot, but I'm getting paid for what I did, despite significantly lower than real work. But whatever, I'm still working. Anyway, I'm working two tasks: between behind the table sorting up files and such and becoming a researcher assistant for professors who are too busy to make progress on theirs.

I don't know what to feel, between anxious of the first time out there and proud that at least I'm not (totally) leeching anymore. I just wish I won't screw this up. Guess I won't be taking any holidays again for the next 5 months. ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/9686-My-first-job http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/9595-Chronic-Mind-Block Tue, 07 Aug 2012 14:15:32 GMT Don't know why but it's already two years since I suffered from mind block. I'm usually productive with words, but these two years I haven't resumed my stories at all despite all the definite ideas - somehow writing them down makes the ideas seems stupid and thus I relent. I used to produce about 2-3 poems in a month and these two years I only invent 10.

I don't know what to do. I really hate to put everything to a permanent halt but now even words only sound beautiful in the realm of thoughts. I've read somewhere that this is a natural thing happening on early stages when people trying something new, but two years?

Sometimes I would just stare to my old works and wonder how I could create anything like those. ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/9595-Chronic-Mind-Block http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/8015-Too-much-pussies Mon, 19 Mar 2012 10:54:16 GMT I know I would hate being in OB/GYN despite people's persuasion that it is an extremely exciting module :##:

I mean, pussies are not my things, and now I have to watch them covered in blood and mucus, not to mention inserting my two fingers into the cavity every half an hour? :eek:

And when I carry the newborn infants, I always pray I wouldn't drop them due to excessive slipperiness. ](*,)

:help: Seven weeks to go. ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/8015-Too-much-pussies http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/8002-Doctors-Love-Approach-Method-just-for-fun Sun, 04 Mar 2012 10:51:30 GMT DOCTORS' LOVE APPROACH METHOD



1. Anamnestic type
This type of 'doctors' usually approach their persons of interest via words. They must collect enough information verbally so as to determine their next step(s). This kind of people are very detailed and usually hard to resist since they are good in revolving their sentences but can be pretty sly and argumentative, especially with their super move: "But you said you were ________________!!!"
Further, anamnestic people can be classified into 5 types:

• Identity: Be very careful with this type. They are usually into another aspects of you, usually related to your wealth ("How old are you?" continued by "What is your occupation?" and/or "How do you pay your bills/hospitalisations?"). On some other cases, marriage might be a turn-off (which is a good thing) or a turn-on (which is the beginning of a disaster). Races or religions can also play a role, in which you can detect whether s/he is really casual about it, s/he is an exclusive/extremist/even a racist, or s/he has a weird attraction toward different strokes.
• History of current: Usually this kind of people are realists and they see you as who you are right now. Of course what happened in the past matters , but they acknowledge it as how the past influences and molds you as the person today. P.S.: Just be patient with all the open questions and you can see them reluctantly opt to the yes/no questions =P
• History of previous: Another one to be a bit aware of. Why do they want to know about what happened in the past so very much, in detail, including what you did to make yourself feel better about it? This can be a sign of early mistrust, which indicates the person to be a jealous or an obsessive type...otherwise, you should think you're being wooed by a detective in disguise, who thinks you look like a wanted fugitive, or by a bounty hunter, who has the same thought with the detective.
• Family history: So s/he wants to know more about your family and your relationship with them. This might be a sign of intimacy and open-mindedness. However, when s/he starts to invade further, you ought to make sure s/he's not an obsessive type. Especially in combination with the identity questions, be careful about hidden intentions.
• Social history: Usually this type of persons like people who have good social life. If you're secluded and have decided to spend your remaining years as a hermit, don't bother to respond as they will just walk over you. P.S.: Observe them meticulously. When you see danger signs (e.g. needle tracks, haematomas, lipodystrophy, excessive tiredness, dilated pupils, excessive/absence of movements, etc.), you know what to do.

2. Physically examining type
This type of 'doctors' uses their observation skills more than their words. Usually they are highly educated and intelligent (and sensitive too) and might often amaze their opponents by showing their observation results. However, they usually lack empathy and it is difficult for them to remember things - they tend to forget many things, including the name of the person they are flirting with, in the matter of milliseconds.
There are four subtypes here:

• Inspecting: They watch everything about you. For the head to the toes, from every blink and exhale to even the most subtle finger movements. They study everything about you and have theories between your every aspects. They can be very annoying with this, but they tend to be romantic even without trying at all. On an excessive level, consider them to be a stalker. Yet on a superficial level, they are superficial people who digs people with good skin-limited qualities.
• Auscultating: They listen to your every words and sounds, so your choice of words, your often swearing words, the songs you sing/whistle, or even your fart/belch matter to them. They don't take much so they are good listeners and good shoulders to cry on, though you might want to ensure they are not pretending to be one. They will never make the first move, so you have to be the aggresive one.
• Palpating: As what the name implies. They usually have a well-defined body language and frequently foul thoughts. Without combination with other types mentioned, void them at all costs.
• Percussing: Yeah, some people are into S/M (really, I respect them), but bruises all over their bodies every single minute? Trust me, you don't want to date a potential abuser.

3. Supportive examining type
The most mysterious type, as they (claim to) look deeper than what seems to be. They tend to dismiss physical traits and lurk into the inner beauty, but at times it's hard to know if they're really good at this (remember the awkward moment when you lift the X-ray or CT photo and have no idea what to find in the black-and-white Roschach-like photos). It's really hard to find people with purely this trait.

• Bloodwork: The most mysterious type; tend to be OCDs. They dig into even the smallest aspect of your life, which even you might not realise. Whatever their intention whilst discovering this and what they're using it for is hard to comprehend. They usually have a sharp tongue and criticise you often, on most cases not because they want to bring you down, but more because they're honest and they expect you to be the same to them; yet on rare occasions they can give you nice unexpected treats. On a higher level, they could be control freaks and, even worse, obsessive and jealous type. On the evil side, combined with negative traits, they might have hidden intentions and plan to use your unknown aspects for their own good.
• Head X-ray: A weird one. On a positive side, they tend to be artists and see the world in a different way. Nonetheless, usually they're into weird stuffs and they have fetishes. So the double dare: either they see you as a piece of art, or a piece of strangeness they are attracted to. Either way, if you can't stand them smelling your feet, taking pictures of you cooking with only a cellophane apron, or being excited when you crack the mirror with your appearance in the morning, you better take a step further.
• Thorax/abdominal X-ray/CT-scan: They really look into your heart. They really don't care about anything else. What else should I say here? That they're looking whether you will have a heart attack so they can take your treasure? Actually, it could be - only when combined with negative traits.
• Head CT-scan/MRI: They dig into your intellectuals. They are often smart too and demand you to be at least as smart as them. They could be artists too. On a downward point, they are usually hard-headed, so expect conflicts and arguments with them. Combined with negative traits, the thing is the same with the thorax/abd X-ray/CT-scan.
• USG (applies to women only): She asks you if you like children and how many children you want? That is normal. She is furious to see no space for children in your house? Or she asks you to palpate her tummy to roughly check the integrity of her uterus? Now that is creepy. If you really want her, however, be ready to be like Steve Martin in the movie "Cheaper by A Dozen". P.S.: Look at her history. Danger signs include break-ups with vague reasons (usually she complained the boyfriends have no commitments), no history of dating AT ALL above the age 35, estranged from the family, having almost no casual real-life friends, workaholics, high position in their occupations, and frequent masturbating.

4. Therapeutic type
Need I explain? They're only into the actions. Do not expect anything more than a one-night stand. For preventive and promotive types, it's not better; they're making sure you won't complicate their lives in the future.









So, which one is you? :lol: :cool: ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/8002-Doctors-Love-Approach-Method-just-for-fun http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7842-My-pseudo-graduation Sat, 17 Sep 2011 12:53:35 GMT Two days ago was my badge's graduation. I went to the campus to attend it.

Well, actually, even though it's my year, I was not supposed to attend it because technically and legitimately I haven't graduated yet until February (you can read why in the other entries).

But I insisted to go as a 'special' guest. Just to enjoy the moment.

And it's the first time I didn't regret my impulsive actions. The graduation was a pseudo-procedure for me, but the moments were real. My friends were all astonished and glad to see my unexpected appearance. I felt genuinely happy for my friends who had finished their first course and would now continue, and I felt happy for myself for agreeing to be a part of the live fanfare :)

For those curious, you can see my photos in my FB :) ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7842-My-pseudo-graduation http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7804-Uncommon-words Tue, 09 Aug 2011 07:22:51 GMT I had a shallow fight with my sister, who were preparing for her IELTS test.

The fight was over the word 'famine'. She insisted the word is uncommon and queer, that very few people know the word, and the word 'starvation' is more commonly used and hence more appropriate.

I frowned. The two words had different contexts and are not synonyms. I tried explaining it to her, yet she was so adamant.

She continued ranting on the word 'suspend' and 'arrest' as opposed to 'stop' and 'pause'.

Wow. [-X

EDIT: She came to me yesterday apologising. Turned out she had a tryout and the word 'famine' appeared :gogirl: ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7804-Uncommon-words http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7765-Pathetic-Behaviour Thu, 23 Jun 2011 06:08:14 GMT There are two types of pathetic gay men, according to most people. One, the ones who fall in love with their best friend(s) (and the feelings don't reciprocate, suppose the best friend is also gay). Two, the ones who fall in love with a straight man.

I happen to be those two ==" :-({|=

Even before he got a girlfriend, I'd sworn myself to stop hoping anything. Yet, it's been three years and I keep winding myself back at him. Today is one of the stupid climax---for me.

Every year, he often gets shirts from his other friends for birthday (who are also my friends) and I never see him wear it to the campus (we all know the type of shirt because he always opens his presents in front of us).

He had his birthday one month ago. I forgot to give his present, which was a shirt, and ended up submitting it three days ago---approximately a month late. #-o

This morning, he wore it to the class. :eek:

I immediately recognised the shirt at the very first glance.

And for the whole day, I acted like an idiotic :clown:, smiling all the time the lecturer thought I was either making fun of her or talking jokes with the one sitting beside me. Somehow, I felt the passion, the abrupt bliss blossoming instantly when I see him wearing it.

No no no no no no ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

Damn am I pathetic #-o ](*,) ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7765-Pathetic-Behaviour http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7757-Coming-Out-part-III Tue, 14 Jun 2011 09:37:26 GMT Remember the thing about I told someone during my vacuum?

Basically, bla bla bla, it's the same as usual. We talked about many things, mostly about family problems, and so I decided to come out to him.

The person, he's only 1 week older than me but he acts in a more childish way than I am or the other people my age. What shocks me is that he has an even more mature way in coping with this and seeing the way I see things. And he accepts it wholly.

The scenario:
Me: I want to tell you something. [sighs] I'm gay.
He: Oh yeah, you're---WHAT?
Me: Uh huh.
He: Seriously? [less thrilled]
Me: Yap. 100%.
He: No wonder I don't see you scouting for girls. I thought you weren't interested to find one right now, but this is...at least I know now [giggled, naturally]
Me: Yeah.
He: Are you sure? I mean, you could make it up because you have no luck with girls.
Me: Nope. Completely sure. I've been like this for...let's see...[counting with fingers] 9 years.
He: That's a long time indeed. Does your family know?
Me: No and I don't plan to tell them. You know why.
He: I can see this.

We discussed a lot about this and also about gay people. He was really into the topic and he also liked the idea of having a gay friend. He said it broadens his mind.

I even persuaded him to watch Priest (the 1994 one), even though I pinpointed more to the Catholicism (he's a Catholic---most of my friends are) and his opinion about the problem in it. ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7757-Coming-Out-part-III http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7731-I-am-a-douchebag Tue, 24 May 2011 06:16:04 GMT At least that's what 10 real people and 3 Internet buddies (including JUB) thought.

Yeah, I'm sharp, I like to make ambiguous remarks, and I like to invent hell-bad metaphors to address my intentions, which are meant to be very easy to be misinterpreted as something totally off the meaning. And I happen to have a very short fuse as well.

So what if I am a psychedelic bitch.

I'd like to write 'Deal with it,' but likewise what the society decided over hot pancakes, blonde eloquent blokes, and pink boxers, it is I who have to deal with others.

Hooray.

Now where's the fucking goddamn champagne. ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7731-I-am-a-douchebag http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7722-Some-things-I-do-during-vacuum Sun, 15 May 2011 10:15:32 GMT Actually, nothing changed much during the hiatus; I simply get by through school, apprenticeship, and other tasks. There are however several things I... Actually, nothing changed much during the hiatus; I simply get by through school, apprenticeship, and other tasks. There are however several things I consider important:

1). I come out to another pal, which is a male and surprisingly fully supportive. This will cover another blog, so I'm not going to fully cover it here :)

2). I attended the very first scientific seminar in my college which focused on homophobia :D. Not only from the medical and psychological field, the seminar also include gay and transexual activists to share their experiences of being gay and Moslem (which, I have to admit, is pretty tough) and about LGBT movements in Indonesia. At first I was worried that some staffs and the radical Moslem students would boycott, but it turned out nice (albeit some of the audiences are clearly homophobic). Too bad I didn't have the chance to speak more privately to the activists; they had to leave early due to circumstances (I imagined private circumstances :badgrin: :twisted:)

3). I started watching LGBT cinemas. Despite some failed experiments, the ones stored in my hard disk are nice and don't contain soap-operish scenes. I always though gay films would be like watching Brokeback Mountain---full of begging and stuff you would expect when watching cheesy love teen movies. :lol:

4). The most important thing: I learn to be independent of what people think, on every aspect. I learn how to be selfish when you really need to (like stopping doing people chores when mine's are not done yet). I learn how to withhold negative thoughts when I face seniors who are either a total whore or don't fulfill the criteria of professionalism. I also learn how to push people to achieve higher things without making an impression of an impatient, insensitive douche. There are more stuffs I learn, thanks to the variety I find in my study groups.

Well, perhaps that's all I can say about the exile. :lol: Now back to JUB. :gogirl: ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7722-Some-things-I-do-during-vacuum http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7549-Going-inactive-(again) Mon, 22 Nov 2010 01:11:38 GMT Yeah, that's right. I'm vanishing for a while.

JUB has been a great place, really. It helps me a lot with things, especially when the people in the real world aren't helping at all. So much time spent here that it's almost one year since I joined. Still a short time compared with some of the others, but the experience is priceless.

However, it is starting to impede my steps. Too many times consumed just to check the posts and reply to them, I almost always sacrifice my studying time and also times which should've been used for other obligatory activities. So, I have to let this go first. Let's just call it JUB abstinence :) I know it feels bad not being able to post and partake in the forum, but some sacrifices just have to be made.

Previously I've been gone about 1 week. This time it's about 5 months. So see you guys back in May.

You still can contact me though. :) ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7549-Going-inactive-(again) http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7536-Vacuum-time-v-s-workaholics Sat, 13 Nov 2010 06:04:21 GMT Yes. If both of them are creatures, they are destined to fight until death. :help: Long time I consider myself a workaholic (not in the real... Yes. If both of them are creatures, they are destined to fight until death. :help:

Long time I consider myself a workaholic (not in the real buzzing bee term). I mean, I simply have to have something in hand to be done, be it homework, assignments, hobbies, or even nutjobs like cleaning something which is already clean, etc :roll:. I won't deny I have procrastinated before---countless times !oops!, but that all didn't undo the fact I like being busy.

And now the campus is telling me to stay put for 4 weeks for my test, starting next week, because they are too lazy to do a test for just one freaking student who repeats his term. Oh dear...:##:

My friends, as I said, are happily (and tormentedly) continuing my study. Tiresome and cumbersome, but they're working---even to hang out together somewhere :(. Lately my dick is sore from too much jacking off !oops! and lately this week, porn is not too stimulating as what they used to be. And now I'm starting to worry whether I get haemorrhoids from sitting too long, staring at the laptop screen. :?

No studying, friends too busy to hang out with, bored of porn, nothing to do...

Last night it was raining hard and somehow, I have a fantasy to run out, get naked, and play mud :confused: I hope I'm not regressing. :eek: ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7536-Vacuum-time-v-s-workaholics http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7465-When-stepping-forward-is-like-defying-gravity Thu, 30 Sep 2010 09:56:11 GMT Some of you may have read about my study problem and thank God it's settled. Even though I'm still left behind, at least I'm not going to repeat the whole year.

And moreover, with this delay and things happening, whether in my family, in my campus, and in JUB, I started to re-contemplate and rethink the objectives I yearn and match it with my capacity now. Slowly I begin to understand the definition of 'halting back to win', and that's good.

But it doesn't mean I have nothing to fear now. Since I still have contact with my friends (who are mostly more advance currently), I can also hear them lamenting life in clinical period. The ruthless seniors, the tight-jeans (I mean it) schedule, and the uncertain studying condition. Not to mention being the doormat for the whole workers in the hospital. Somehow, seeing their posts makes me think back whether I have to stay like my old self, trying hard to impress people with my jobs/tasks no matter what their reaction is, or start being subdued to the so-called luck in surviving in the harsh atmosphere---especially when seniors and doctors consider people who repeat their year are stupid and pay no heed to them.

Then I remember my old slogan which I abandoned long time ago: "Sometimes nothing can be explained. So suck it up, move your ass, and attack."

:croynan:---or so I hope now. I need some gasoline :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g4ekwTd6Ig ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7465-When-stepping-forward-is-like-defying-gravity http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7359-Strange-Reaction Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:54:08 GMT It came to me months ago that I can easily return a smile from someone but not when it's a guy and the guy's cute. #-o

So there's a guy who I sensed to be gay. When he walked past me, he smiled. And I instantly smirked. #-o Not that kind of pleasant smirks, but more of a smirk you gave to your friend when you caught him eating boogers.

I wanted to disappear at once. ](*,)

:?But not quite sure yet, I let it go, until another few experiences proved it correct, not only toward cute/hot guys I suspect to be gay, but also on other hot guys which are in fact straighter than a ruler.

I seriously need an attitude rehab. :-({|= ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7359-Strange-Reaction http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7222-Coming-Out-Part-II Mon, 17 May 2010 12:17:21 GMT Actually, it can't be exactly called coming out, since the term only applies on telling someone to whom you never mention it at all. But this one, personally, make me feel really good.

I forgot I have told this guy a long time ago, but I remembered some time ago when I recollected memories while looking on some pictures. Then again, I didn't know if he remembered it too, as I was in an ill-state condition when I told him raucously---maybe he thought I was only joking or whatsoever.

Today I was opening JUB on campus, alone on a quite hidden corner where I usually hang during spare time. Suddenly, poof, he came, stating he wanted to study and needed my help. I gulped, exited JUB as quick as possible, and agreed. Nothing really happened then; we had a little talk about lessons, lectures, and stuffs until he shifted the topic to religion and asked about my belief in God.

That time, I was attempting to open my inbox, but I forgot JUB was on the first quick list---I accidentally opened JUB in front of him #-o. And the boy had a quick eye, quick enough to glimpse the title before I managed to close it:help:. Amazingly :eek:, he didn't freak out; he calmly questioned me why I had JUB in my website list, so I restated I am gay. Turned out, he didn't forget; he just pretended nothing happened. :##:

Now the topic was entirely deflected into me being gay. We talked a lot, about how I felt about it all these times, how he felt I could change since he felt being gay is ethically wrong, etc., etc., and it was ended with a simple question whether I knew being gay was a sin in front of God (yes he's a committed Christian).

Next, I muttered out things that kinda shocked me (because I never thought I would ever say that clearly :eek:):
1. I didn't feel bad about being gay and not did I want to change.
2. Since I had no problem, he should not assume either being gay is troublesome and burdening for me or me being afraid to be burnt in Hell for being gay.

Yay! (!) I said it for the first time! To a guy, alone! :hurray:

Now for the good news: aside from his disagreement of gay, he understood me; he stated he didn't support me, but he didn't reject me either. And he also said he did not hate me for being gay. And for me, I felt we were closer than before (as we used to be hi-hi-when-meets-each-other mates). :D Though he warned me to be more careful as this may harm me in the future should I not be careful in selecting to whom I want to come out. :-({|= ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7222-Coming-Out-Part-II http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7134-Coming-Out-part-I Tue, 30 Mar 2010 13:47:43 GMT Maybe not be a big deal for some guys here, but I managed to re-'come out' about two days ago (!). Not to a huge group of audience...just two of my friends. Why I feel great about this is because one of them is a boy and he accept me as who I am, just as my girl friend did. And they didn't expect me to change accordingly, unlike some friends I've come out to before them :).

The funny thing here was that the one appalled was me when my girl friend said to me (I don't remember her exact words), "Wow, I didn't see that one coming, especially from you:eek:! I mean, you are not built like it and you certainly didn't act like one:##:. I know that [a guy in my class] is one, but you?" And I was like, "WTF!?"

It's official; my gaydar sucks :=D:

Anyway, I'm really happy now :D! Not to mention I'm encouraged to build more confidence and consider to tell some others in the near future :gogirl: (and to be able to continue to part II :lol:). ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7134-Coming-Out-part-I http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7099-Gay-as-a-(horrid)-joke Tue, 09 Mar 2010 12:19:02 GMT Some words have become basis of languages, including taboo words and offensive, vulgar words (which cause children to be grounded for mentioning them... Some words have become basis of languages, including taboo words and offensive, vulgar words (which cause children to be grounded for mentioning them rashly and intentionally). Some of them are regarded as usual, harmless, and frivolous, while others are so way offensive that they trigger many purposeless fights and etc.

Some of the words above are the gay-related words.

I have mentioned that my ears are deaf towards those words due to excessive exposure. True it is that people around me use those words like a rural kid who doesn't know how to use perfume and spray them like watering flowers. Nor will I deny that I used to say them too as parts of joking statements---now I have regretted doing that. The most classical case is like when someone mentions anything funny and unusual, people around them will just scream out, "YOU'RE SO GAY!" and laugh out loud while the accused struggles to find a way to prove it's a hoax. More to say, some (whose intentions are covertly hidden) add ambiguous words such as, "We understand you and we accept you the way you are."

Poof. The vulgar usage of gay is now replaced with flowery colourful languages as if the gay contents were clowns in the circus arena which ignites fun. I don't even know if this has anything to do with homophobia, but one thing I know is that once you're entitled with the term 'gay'---even though it was only a harmless joke, you'll stick with it until the end---at least to your pals.

The point is what is the purpose of pointing someone and saying, "You're so gay!" out of the context? Are these terms so derogatory that not only it contains obscene meanings, but also have now become a laughing material? I really want to know their real reactions suppose someone outs himself towards them. Will they laugh at it, accept it like what they claim, or simply disgusted by it? ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7099-Gay-as-a-(horrid)-joke http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7073-Gay-Stories-v-s-Gay-Porn-Stories Wed, 17 Feb 2010 07:48:30 GMT Even the dumbest person can readily distinguish between a love story and a porn story without the need to explain :mrgreen:. By no means, love... Even the dumbest person can readily distinguish between a love story and a porn story without the need to explain :mrgreen:. By no means, love stories pinpoints the whole development of love (which can get bitchy at times) and may or may not involve sex :-({|=. Porn stories, on the other hand, stress on the urge of the writer to jot down every sexual intentions s/he has in mind and are mostly correlated with lack of development and plot. With a child’s language O:), we just have to say, “Porn is all about sex and thus are especially for readers with dirty mind. ;) :twisted:”---correct me if I was wrong (!).

Now narrowing to gay stories and gay porn stories. Typically, the formula above works just fine for gay stories, with one main differences: sex scenes has strong influences on both harmless and porn stories (since men have been proven to be more carnivorous :lol:). Sometimes I am amazed by the fact that some gay stories happen to be borderline porns minus the moanings and orgasm screeches :square: :##:. Afterwards, I ponder if anyone from the literature institutions must perform a research to differ gay stories and gay porn.

Up to this point, most of you will think, “This guy is crazy like hell#-o. I enjoy them both (and even jerked to them occasionally*|*). I don’t give shit should it be an innocent story or a porn story:mad:! As long as there are two hunks bump into each other plus bla-bla-bla and then they hit the bed, it’s worth it...|” But the funny thing is that this actually beat the crap out of me when I attempt to write a gay romance story](*,).

Two years ago, naïve as I could be, I started to write it down, thinking about the ‘purest’ and ‘cleanest’ story I could invent without pulling them down to sluts’ level. After only eight pages, dirty thoughts enter, influence, and ruin everything, changing the plot from a guy arrested into a guy arrested and molested and sexually tortured with a chance of bareback actions. The only thing absent is the words, “More…”; “Faster!”; “There; yeah, there!”; “Ah! Yeah! Yes! YES!”; “Oh shit, oh shit! I’m gonna cum!”; etc.

:bartshock :rotflmao:

Blah. offtopic:

Now the story’s has reached four chapters containing ominously reduced sexual scenes, giving out the essence of a failed porn factory which gives out panties sceneries everywhere due to fear of crossing the line :alien:. Trying not to think too much about it, the story’s in hiatus now, though I plan to continue it sometime later.

Especially because most of the time, I got hung reading it. :eek: !oops! ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7073-Gay-Stories-v-s-Gay-Porn-Stories http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7058-quot-Please-don-t-be-gay-quot Sat, 06 Feb 2010 13:16:31 GMT It has been two weeks ago :##:, but it was still in my mind and I need to jot this down. So I was on college to finish my research with some... It has been two weeks ago :##:, but it was still in my mind and I need to jot this down.

So I was on college to finish my research with some friends. The research happened to finish earlier that day. So everyone left home except me and my best friend (a guy). Out of activities, we decided to have lunch together.

We talked a lot during meal and everything seemed normal until when we walked out to the parking lot. Out of nowhere, he mumbled it loud and clear.

"[freefall], please don't be gay. Because I had a feeling you are one."

:confused: Wtf!?

Right after that, his cellphone rang, which took him attention. That was fortunate for me, as I blacked out hearing these words. After receiving his call, I asked him what he meant by that and surprisingly, he said he didn't say anything.

Until now I sometimes thought about it at night, about why did he pretend forgetting his words. He is always a mysterious guy with an unpredictable mind---this made his jokes to be queer and unexpected. However, this one had proven to be puzzling. Was he just kidding or did he had something in mind?

Guess only him and God know. :-({|= ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7058-quot-Please-don-t-be-gay-quot http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7019-Cyclothymia-(not-exactly) Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:57:26 GMT So now, I was just sitting, reading posts and replying my emails, feeling light-headed when I remembered a song I like a lot. The lyrics are critical... So now, I was just sitting, reading posts and replying my emails, feeling light-headed when I remembered a song I like a lot. The lyrics are critical and unexpectedly match my situation. POOF. In no time I entered my depression mode.

Haven't gone to a doctor or therapist to talk about it, but I'm pretty sure I have it. There are periods of time in one/two months where my mood elevates high like the rainbow before it crashes down like an aeroplane caught in accident. Not really sure why. Actually, I can't really call it cyclothymia, because it's not like the usual symptoms, where the person suffering from this has a strict period of mood swings with no clear aetiologies. In fact, the swing must be ignited by some very blissful moments, then immediately downfall when the glee feelings pass. The mood drop is precipitated by anything which reflects my condition (the ones which I feel uncomfortable with). And all of these will resolve by me exploding in great fury to anyone around when something I dislike happens.

It's a bit disturbing. In the mania mode, I feel relatively immune---I talk much, laugh excessively; even some friends say I'm in delusional state. This doesn't bring me much trouble. But when I enter the other mode, I thinking about anything negative which might happen in the future, all in bad scenario mode (and end bitterly too). And then I will definitely have a terrible insomnia in the night for about a week because I worry too much they will happen. But the most annoying effect is that the thoughts affect my attitude that they sometimes interfere with my life.

The last time it brought me trouble was about a year ago, when I came back after long time hospitalisation. I was too happy because I could meet my friends again, but it was all ruined when my group wouldn't come forward to pick up the presentation number. I came forward, picked up a paper, opened it, and learned it was my group who had to presentate. The whole depression sequel resolved in me slamming the paper in front of the lecturer. I was called to the dean's office later that week.

Some of my friends suggest that I pay a visit to a therapist, but the image of me considered 'mentally ill' by everyone, including my family (who is not supportive on these cases) prevents me. Now that it seldom recurs after I learn anger management, I don't really pay much attention to it, but there has been fear that it may provoke something bad.

Oh well.

Maybe it's just me after all. ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/7019-Cyclothymia-(not-exactly) http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/6980-What-should-I-start-with Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:39:44 GMT Kind of funny that I haven't written any blogs yet. I like to write a lot. Poems, songs, short stories, drama scripts (though my friends admitted this one's a huge failure), and even stories. But a blog? Never really thought of it.:-({|=

The main reason why I never started one is unlike people around me, I didn't really have anything interesting to say about what happened everything. Or at least (again, my friends' opinions), what happened were usually too magical (yes, MAGICAL) to be comprehended by normal people without scorching their brains.

Also, sometimes I feel like a total snob trying to jot down something about yourself. It's not that I dislike people who do autobiographies (I admire them! though I'm not sure about their objectivity :confused:). Now now, don't send missiles to my residence! It's just a bit giddy for me to say something about me.

But nevertheless, unless you try, you'll never know (this is especially true when I decided to join here). I don't know whether people will read this or this blog filled with gibberish, sooner or later, will be covered with cobweb of web spiders (I know, it's corny #-o); the time will give its judgement. :-) ]]> freefall http://www.justusboys.com/forum/entries/6980-What-should-I-start-with