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  1. sixthson's Avatar
    Not telling someone is not suppressing, necessarily. No reason for it to come up in every conversation with everyone. It's not like you are ashamed of it. Goran asked if Tomas and I were embarrassed when we applied for our marriage license. He is so self conscious about people knowing he is gay and I'm sure it has to do with the shame his parents have instilled in him.
  2. MNRomantic's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by sixthson
    Heard from the guys yesterday. Michael said Goran told his parents he needs to make a life of his own and he plans to do that with Michael. He told them he hopes they will choose to be part of is life, but if they don't, then that is their choice. Michael said he was so excited, it gave him a boner (which I'm sure he then shared with Goran). Goran told me he still gets depressed thinking about his family. I told him I did, too, and it's been a lot longer for me. We just have to live with some things, because we can't change others, we can only change ourselves. He is doing that.
    Thanks for the update. I'm very glad to hear that Goran decided to tell his parents what he did. He stood up for who he is as a person, and that's awesome! I hate knowing that people suppress themselves because of other people in their lives. I did that for a while. Hell, I still do in some ways. Never told my parent's friends that visited us on vacation this weekend that I'm gay, and completely ignored the presence of my ex in my life, for fear of them rejecting me, and my parents. (They were my parents' friends, not mine, didn't want to get in the middle of that one...) See, I suppressed myself even.

    Anyway, I'm glad for the update, and glad to hear of what happened.

    "You can't change the world, you can only change yourself." ~ Beatrice Wood
  3. sixthson's Avatar
    Heard from the guys yesterday. Michael said Goran told his parents he needs to make a life of his own and he plans to do that with Michael. He told them he hopes they will choose to be part of is life, but if they don't, then that is their choice. Michael said he was so excited, it gave him a boner (which I'm sure he then shared with Goran). Goran told me he still gets depressed thinking about his family. I told him I did, too, and it's been a lot longer for me. We just have to live with some things, because we can't change others, we can only change ourselves. He is doing that.
  4. MNRomantic's Avatar
    Yay!

    Thanks for the update, Dan.

    I was going to say JUST that when you said, "Best I can see, the issues are Goran's." I thought immediately, nope not in a relationship! Any problems, and issues become both of your issues.

    Glad that you had those meetings with them, Dan. Glad that Michael DID NOT tell you to mind your own business.

    Hopeful,
    Dustin
  5. eddielee's Avatar
    I do reckon that I feel old, and not just because I'm coming up on 10 years. Thanks for the kind comments.
  6. MNRomantic's Avatar
    Congratulations, eddielee!

    Regrettably, the Join Date on my profile will never be accurate as I have Self-Deleted a few times. Silly thing to do! I've been around these parts since October of 2006.

    Congratulations once more, and Happy Posting.

    Dustin
    "MN Romantic"
  7. dpnice's Avatar
    Congratulations!

    I managed my 10th anniversary though it did include a two year break.

    I am now heading for my 10 000 post after which I can take a breather as I don't think I am ever going to reach the breath-taking posts counts that a few of our members have.

    David.
  8. sixthson's Avatar
    Quick update: The guys went back to living together right after our meeting. They still have a long ways to go. Goran asked to meet with me alone because he had questions about intimacy and how to tear down walls that were preventing him from giving himself 100% to Michael. The best I can see, the issues are only Goran's. However, when you are a couple, there is no such thing. You share the good and the bad. So Goran's issues are Michael's and the two will need to work on them if they are to be successful. The other part for Goran was how to stop feeling dirty about being gay and how to get over the shame that his parents have instilled in him since they first suspected he was gay as a teen. Some problems are dealt with only by living life one day at a time, one fear at a time, one rejection at a time. And you have to be strong. When I look back to when I first said something to Michael, I am so surprised he was as open as he was. I'm sure most would have told me to mind my own business. Maybe because he was at his most vulnerable and knowing what he had been through, talking to a stranger was as good as anything else. These are terrific guys.
    I live in hope.
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