Question for chub chasers

[INtrospective1]

I have always wondered what experiences chub chasers have had within the typical gay community. I often find that many outside the chub chaser community don't understand why someone would be attracted to chubby men. IT's fucked up! I have had several people make rude/hurtful comments about my attraction to chubby men, including chubby men themselves. As a result i am EXTREMLY uncomfortable with my attraction to bigger men/bears/daddies. Its like you get hit from both sides....the "normal" gay community doesn't accept you and the chubby men you like also beat you up for your attraction...I have heard everything from "oh, you only like chubby men because you think you are better than them" to "you like chubby men because you have low self esteem" and the list goes on. Plus i will always wonder if a chubby man is with me because he is desperate or if it is because he really wants to be with me. It seems like chubby men think it is always easy to be a chaser and it is not....but i do understand that it is very hard for chubs in today's fucked up society so i am by no means saying that it is as hard for chasers as it is for chubs.

I don't want to keep going on and on but i would like to know, are you chasers ok with being chasers or do you struggle with it too? I feel like i am alone with this problem because i don't have any other friends that are chasers. Please let me know of some of your experiences with the chub/chaser community......Thanks in advance, JUBers!..|

[Orlandude]

I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all. I'm not a chaser or a chub but I know guys who are both. If that's your type then I say go for it and pay no attention to the ones who criticize. I am sure it is difficult since the "sterotype" gay social image is all about being THIN. With all the fitness craze it even makes it worse. Of course there is nothing wrong with being fit either. But if you like the guys with a little weight, I say enjoy!

[Horschallen]

I am a superchub and I do know what you have been dealing with. Who cares about what they think and what they may be missing?

[soulblvr82]

Yeesh.. I would be honored to have a hot guy interested in me! Although, in any situation It would be nice to be wanted based on my personality, my heart... who I am, not just how much I weigh. I try to tell myself I want to be thin for me, for my happiness, for my health, but there's a part of me that just wants to fit in with all the other guys who are sticks...with flat tummy's...that maybe then if I looked like that someone would actually want me...bahh...I dunno!

[Cuddly Bear]

I'm a chub, and I don't mind men who chase after me, even though it's very few that actually do. I would understand that most chubs get very upset because they don't understand why guys with great looking bodies chase after them. A lot of them have their own opinion, if I was being chased by a chub chaser, the first question I would ask them "Why me? What makes you want me?" Some people would find that offensive some would answer it honestly.

I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people who are chubs that have partners or boyfriends that are the opposite of what they look like.

Also try not to listen to the people who tell you bad shit, it's because they already get enough shit from people that think they are perfect, good looking, and their body can attract any man in the gay community. It's all true too, I've been put down by men that are twinkish looking, muscular, any form of body that is attractive to about 80% of the gay community.

Don't let it bother you, chub chasers are very nice people just liking what not many people would be interested in.

[Thundercizzle]

I'll have to think up something that hasn't already been said. I can relate on all accounts.

[The_Pianist]

Well, I have to admit, though I know they're out there, few and far between though they may be, it'd take a little bit of work for me to believe and trust that Mr Chaser is sincere in his attraction for me.

Oddly enough, I have no problem believing someone would want to be with me for my personality, or even 'face', but I do have problems believeing that my 'body' is of any great appeal to anyone.

Ideally of course, it would be nice to be wanted for the entire package, size, personality AND age, and though it MAY happen, I'm not reallly expecting it to.

I'm not sure why one would get blasted by the chubs other than there's perhaps some anger/hurt issues surfacing and it's a 'rejection' technique. Just guessing.

[INtrospective1]

Yeah, if you like bears, i think you are also considered a chaser. usually the term is used for guys that like chubby men, though.

[Cherokee_Lover]

I like all kinds of guys...well, twinks, real young guys, and those who look like GQ models don't do it for me at all...anyway, I love guys of all shapes and sizes. (I don't care if the guy is butch or fem acting as long as he's a hot fella.) Screw 'em if "they" don't like what we like. There are some gorgeous ass chubby guys on this site and out there in the non-cyber world.

Life's supposed to be about being happy and enjoying every moment and being friggin' glad that you're alive because you're a unique creation. Some people just like to rain on other folks' day, and maybe because they aren't too happy with themselves so they have to put down others. So just say a mini-Serenity Prayer in their honor: "Fuck'em!" ..| :D

[probeteam1]

Y'know, I haven't really had this problem. I suppose I can partly attribute that to the fact that I don't really discuss it. I have a hard time classifying myself and the men I'm attracted to, so I tend to just use examples ("Like that guy over there.") Among my straight friends (sometimes including the example I just used) I've found that the response is usually "Okay, I could see that." I've actually had more women ask for details about the kind of guy I prefer than men, and when their reaction is less than understanding I always tell them that it's not their place to approve or understand, since logically they'd be in no way involved.

I can't speak to how the men I'm with feel, because most of the bigger men I'm attracted to turn out to be straight :( And anyone who tried to analyze my attraction based on my self-image or my self-esteem would have his work cut out for him.

[inner_voice]

Look i think it's the same with straight people
Some men prefer chubby women, older etc and the others judge them
Asshol*** are everywhere my friend.
You were brave enough to get out of the closet and now you are concered about some assh***.. ? :D

[CountryBiy86]

personally i like chubbys! thats just my preferance!! i like a man having meat on them! :D
garth brooks is my ultime favorite!!:D

[gebri0]

as a super chub myself i know all to weell both sides of the story. but hey, each to their own.

[Cherokee_Lover]

Yeah, Garth Brooks is one hot man. His eyes and his smile just kill me!



personally i like chubbys! thats just my preferance!! i like a man having meat on them! :D
garth brooks is my ultime favorite!!:D

[steve80]

I have always been attracted to larger/stockier/husky guys, but growing up, i was felt to feel shamed about it by my friends. I was was made to feel like shit because i didnt like the normal stereotype guys(cheek bones-swimmers/models looks) you know .....that sort of shit. It got to the point that i dont discuss who or what I am attracted to anymore with anyone as i get made to feel like there is something wrong with me. I hate the fact that i have to censor my own attraction when eveyone else is so open about it. The only person i can discuss who i think is hot is my b/f's brother's girlfriend. We were chatting and i mentioned that i happened to think Sean Astin was hot...her eyes lit up! OMG..so do I she says. We have found we like the same large men(celebs)...and i feel liberated around her. And also by coming here too. This is my first post and i want to say thanks for making me feel quite normal.

[INtrospective1]

I have always been attracted to larger/stockier/husky guys, but growing up, i was felt to feel shamed about it by my friends. I was was made to feel like shit because i didnt like the normal stereotype guys(cheek bones-swimmers/models looks) you know .....that sort of shit. It got to the point that i dont discuss who or what I am attracted to anymore with anyone as i get made to feel like there is something wrong with me. I hate the fact that i have to censor my own attraction when eveyone else is so open about it. The only person i can discuss who i think is hot is my b/f's brother's girlfriend. We were chatting and i mentioned that i happened to think Sean Astin was hot...her eyes lit up! OMG..so do I she says. We have found we like the same large men(celebs)...and i feel liberated around her. And also by coming here too. This is my first post and i want to say thanks for making me feel quite normal.

Glad you can come here and feel normal! Sounds like you and i think alike...keep your head up...we are your friends here at JUB..|

[mrclean]

Well some people don't understand it when you are attracted to men of other races other than your own. I'm white and to be honest, white guys don't do it for me. I like Black men, Latin men, Asian men and so on. But my own race dosen't turn me on. At some point in my life I just lost intrest in white men. My first boy friend a guy named Kevin was Black and had a huge cock... I'm not sure if that is what changed me. Also I have been put down by most white guys... So the hell with them Black men are much better anyhow. Peace!

[shakeupme]

Hi guys,

I know what you're all talking about. I don't talk about my attractions with my friends (even my gay friends) because they either laugh at me, or look at me in shock or horror. For so many years, I thought I was alone in liking bigger or hairier guys. Then I came here and found a whole community who shares my (good) taste. It's really important, not just for me, but for so many of us, to share and have fun here.

For what it's worth...bears rock...and go the big guys!!!!!!!!!!

[Horschallen]

As a chub or maybe as a superchub weighing over 350 pounds, I crave for years for the company of chubby chasers, but have not been lucky over these years. There are many times when the so-called chasers are actually for hairy men, but I am not hairy. A little bit, but do not fit in the hairy category which seems to be popular. I do happen to have my set of preferences and of those I prefer not to get involved with, which may add to the difficulty of meeting such men of my preferences. My being deaf apparently adds to my difficulty meeting someone substantial. I have had chasers who went out with me only to never get back to me after getting me in bed, etc. (not that I am an easy lay, but I do have needs just like you do, but during a lucky year, I may get laid twice and wait a couple of years for the next lay). I do not know exactly why I am rambling on here, but I guess I just want to vent off and share the frustrations experienced by many chubs and superchubs along with some of unique challenges I experience with my deafness.

[Stryfe]

I would never want to be labelled a chaser. The connotation that I chase chubby people is degrading to me and to chubs. I just think mutual attraction should be all that matters. What I find attractive is not merely hairy chubby men, I have tried others and it's just as good.

So far the gay people I've met didn't care that I was with a chubby guy...and thruthfully I don't care what they think. Then again I don't usually hang out in clubs or bars.

[craziwranglerman]

i think that the guys who belittle you for liking bears/chubs are prolly insecure of themselves. cause they know that one person isnt attracted to them (you). they need their ego fed and they think that everyone wants them and if they find someone who isnt attracted to them or think they are a god they will usually put them down.

as for me i guess im a chub . im more husky than anything i guess. im 5'9 and 200 lbs. my boyfriend is a stripper. and i quesitoned at first what attracted him to me and at the same time i was falling for him. he doesnt strip now, well except for the private shows he gives me.................

[maksahoo]

bear, cubs, otters, chasers and everybody else can enjoy the following hot sties:

www.bearwww.com AND
www.hairyturks.com

(don't subscribe to hairyturks...it's a rip off...you can get the main components for free...)

[maksahoo]

on another note...i think this whole debate is due to the fact that we just love to classify and sort each other into neat little categories, otherwise known as labels. i'm a bear (very hairy; 6'1, 195lbs), but i don't go around in the world identifying myself ONLY as a bear and then try to find chasers. in fact, i didn't really think much about it like this until i started checking out the websites i just posted. at the end of the day, i end up finding myself attracted to different types. my bf's in the past 4 years or so have ALL been thinner than me...they all had a thing for a guy with something "to hold on to" (plus the hair) and i enjoyed it. of course, i was also a fetish for them...since i happen to be arab!

[caelen]

I can understand exactly the problems you are talking about..

Im a big hairy guy (label me as you will) and Im personally guilty of having pushed away chasers just as you describe before, let me explain...

Like many, my first experience with the gay scene was in mainstream gay clubs, being just outside central London the area certainly is not short of them. Im not into big guys myself, Im into younger, slim guys- these clubs were full of them, the only issue was that these stunning, slim, smooth looking guys in the clubs seemed to only be interested in the other stunning, slim, smooth guys- It started making me quite despondent, not being able to pull in a club with a thousand gay guys in really started making me feel uncomfortable and ultimatly insecure- I really did think that this was a sign of gay culture- the only people getting any were the smooth, slim babyfaced guys.. I often decided to hell with it, knocked back a shot for some added confidence and approached a guy I liked- It always ended in a total mess, I walked out of a club one night because one boy who i thought looked quite sweet and approached said "sorry, im really not into fat guys"
At this time I was not online, so I was totally unaware of a bear culture which has formed, I had no idea there were clubs, websites etc which devoted to bigger guys and their admirers - I think even If I had I wouldnt have gone near, damage had already been done to my self confidence. All I had wanted was to fit in with what I thought at the time was normal, I didnt want to be seperated into another group- or even admit the fact that yes.. maybe I am a fat guy..

When I first come online I started running a public webcam 24 hours a day (It was an experiment for an article I was writing)
The response I got truely shocked and astounded me, I seriously had not realised that there were guys that I was attracted to, attracted to ME!- the fist few people who approached me made me look at them in total disbelief and often suspicious of what they would get out of it, as you can imagine on the odd occasion my suspicion often cost me what could have been a good friendship or relationship.

The more emails I got about my cam and the more I read, the more I realised there was more to it- that people who I thought were cute were obviously attracted to big guys, I had just been looking in the wrong places! I have had to pretty much deprogram my insecurities and prejudices which had built up over the years and put it down to experience. I still have some issues which im working with over time, for instance, Im still not keen on being referred to as a bear- Im under no illusion that in the community thats exactly what I am but it dont mean I have to like being labelled to that degree ;)

So I can see both sides of some big guys being sceptical of the attention they get- after constant knockbacks its almost a self preservation reflex and as confident as anyone seems, EVERYONE has something about their body they are insecure about and their pushing you away could very well just be disbelief that you could find them hot!

So all im saying is try not to take it too personally, not all big guys have this problem with chaser most (as do I now) love the attention- it just takes a little while to get used to it ;)

[evilest]

All I really think is that body faschism gets people nowhere. And anyone who will deliberately ostrisise you for such miniscule points is not worth your time of day, let alone your affections. There is always someone there for you, and never comprimise in order to find them, if it's good enough they'll always find you.

[maksahoo]

All I really think is that body faschism gets people nowhere. And anyone who will deliberately ostrisise you for such miniscule points is not worth your time of day, let alone your affections. There is always someone there for you, and never comprimise in order to find them, if it's good enough they'll always find you.

you go girl!! that's such a great pep-talk!:gogirl:

[evilest]

you go girl!! that's such a great pep-talk!:gogirl:

With you right up to 'girl'...But I do belive that people shouldn't settle because they're made to feel to.

[Stryfe]

Hey Caelan. Welcome and thank you for your thought-provoking post. It's good to see things from someone else's perspective.

[caelen]

Hey Caelan. Welcome and thank you for your thought-provoking post. It's good to see things from someone else's perspective.

Thanks Stryfe (*8*)
I was just wanting to put the other side to this, its unfortunate it happens at all- size should not be an issue when it comes to attraction but like anything media portrayal plays a big part in the way people thing, it can really put a downer on some guys whom have a 12 pack instead of a 6 pack..

its just one of those things that you have to try and put to the back of your mind, dont let it damage your confidence or appreciation of your attraction too..

[maksahoo]

ok, one of the initial posts explained the possible 'psychology' of chasers in pursuing bears. what about bears? why do they go after chasers?? why aren't we willing to explain this? what's the domination, as heavier/stronger men, they feel when with someone smaller than they? and why is it that way?

point is the tone throughout this form is all about self-pity. oh we bears thank the second that god placed chasers on this earth. but this a MUTUAL relationship/transaction. what's the other side?