Enough Rude Comments [Archive] - JustUsBoys.com Gay Community

Thundercizzle

February 25th, 2006, 06:13 PM

This is the Bear/Chub forum. It appears some of you have wandered here with an obstructed view of what a bear is. Just because a man has hair on his body, does not make him a bear. I feel it necessary to say this because although we've let you make your posts in this forum anyway, when someone does post a 'real bear man' there are always negative comments. These comments have got out of hand and I'm going to start giving out warning points. If you are one of those who have the wrong impression of what a bear is, there are at least 4 other forums (http://justusboys.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=31) here that would better suit your taste in men. Please go there.

You're going to start seeing a lot more 'real bear' content here at JUB courtesy of BearZone.com and we don't want anyone in this particular forum who shouldn't be here. If you need help finding exactly what you want, PM me and I'll be more than happy to help. Otherwise, this is an official warning that I'm going to give warning points to those who begin to derail threads with their negative comments.

bearcubvet

February 25th, 2006, 06:19 PM

good job thunder! a hairy 18-year-old twink is still a twink. this board should be for the hairy, the stocky, the hunky, the chunky, and the MANLY! KUDOS for keeping the bear board a bear board!

(!)

Peto Antoni

February 25th, 2006, 06:41 PM

This is all well and good. I have some bear pictures, geunuine ones that I want to post......... what if they don't meet with your approval? We all have our particular or varying ideas on what "so and so should look like!"

Certainly want to be honest in my posting of galleries and I believe that on the whole, I have.

Thank you.

Thundercizzle

February 25th, 2006, 06:51 PM

You won't see me make a post saying, "He's disgusting.", "To each his own, but that's gross", or anything like that. Sure, there are real bear men that I don't find attractive, but I know what a bear looks like. And the more somone wants to share, the better. My 'approval' is not the issue here. It's the guys roaming around here who don't belong in this forum who feel it necessary to talk bad about posts with guys who do belong here.

cockman1701

February 25th, 2006, 07:14 PM

I don't care for the people who make rude comments just because. I personally don't like bear men but I won't be negative toward those who do. :-)

VOTE FOR BRIJAN!!

Zeremonie

February 25th, 2006, 07:31 PM

thank you for the thread Thunder! Can't wait to see the content from bearzone.com! :D :D I hope that JUBbers will refrain from the rude comments.

Rockercub

February 25th, 2006, 08:50 PM

a hairy 18-year-old twink is still a twink
I wouldn't say that at all. If you can have a bear cub, why can't you have a wolf or otter cub?

Thundercizzle, I'm totally with you on the negative comment issue, but it seems to me that this forum is broader than just a "real bear" forum. After all, "Daddies" is listed in the title, and a daddy isn't necessarily a bear. Personally, I gravitate toward this forum as an alternative to the typical gay image, meaning that I hope to see older guys, hairier guys, heavier guys, and more masculine guys, but in all different combinations. I've always seen the bear community as more inclusive with lots of different categories, such as cubs, chubs, musclebears, otters, wolves, etc. I'd hate to see this community become as exclusive as the part of the gay community that excludes them. But that's just my two cents.

Thundercizzle

February 26th, 2006, 12:03 AM

I wouldn't say that at all. If you can have a bear cub, why can't you have a wolf or otter cub?

Thundercizzle, I'm totally with you on the negative comment issue, but it seems to me that this forum is broader than just a "real bear" forum.

I never said this was a bear only forum. I was speaking on that topic specifically, but this forum represents the alternative, as you put it, to the typical 'A&F' = pretty boy-image. And btw, bear cub is one thing, but a twink with some chest hair is not a cub unless they associate themselves with the bear community, and you can usually tell which one's those are.
Thanks for posting guys!

The General

February 26th, 2006, 12:05 AM

good job thunder! a hairy 18-year-old twink is still a twink. this board should be for the hairy, the stocky, the hunky, the chunky, and the MANLY! KUDOS for keeping the bear board a bear board!

You forgot mature ;)

Thundercizzle

February 26th, 2006, 12:29 AM

You forgot mature ;)
LOL
Thanks General. We love the mature men!

Rockercub

February 26th, 2006, 02:23 AM

I never said this was a bear only forum.
It sort of came off that way though ‘cause you kept talking about how guys with hair aren’t necessarily bears and if you think they are, you should find another forum. I know it’s not exactly what you said, but what I heard was, “If you’re here looking for hairy guys who don’t fit the bill as bears, you’re in the wrong place.” I was hoping that it was just a misunderstanding though, and I’m really glad you cleared things up. :D

Cuddly Bear

February 26th, 2006, 03:05 AM

To be perfectly honest, I've been real disappointed in the way this section has turned out to be. I remember looking through posts back when people were happy enough to put their picture up on this section, to read other members from different tastes put them down because of the way they looked. That alone put me into tears reading such horrible comments that members posted up just because a guy was chubby.

With Thundercizzle posting pictures of mature men, bears, and chubby guys it made people enjoy looking at the pictures he provided us, as did other members who contributed pictures to these threads. When those threads died down the entire section went to hell, nobody at all posted any pictures of mature men, posted pictures of bears or chubs. I posted up that Mature Men Video thread, which got almost the same amount of views as Mel's thread about Eduardo.

But the sad part about making that Mature Men Video thread was the people that put negative comments to what videos I was posting up, just because they were higher than 50 years old doesn't mean you should tell me to stop posting videos of old wrinkled men! I had the thread deleted and started my own message board, which already has 1,000 members and still growing.

Then later on in the end 2005 some people post their pictures up on the section here, and one of them ends up deleting their account from JUB. I mean damn it's not like guys who post on this section go around saying that twinks are nasty, and the twinks disgusting. It's okay for them to come here and bash bears and chubs? I have yet to see anybody put down a twink that happened to be a chub or a bear.

I'm getting angry that this shit continues to happen. :grrr:

The General

February 26th, 2006, 03:15 PM

Well said!

I think the problem with the threads dying out Brandon is that it's harder to find new pictures that nobody has seen before. Also, a lot of sites are pay only and some won't allow you to just save the image to your own hard drive. There are 2 or 3 guys that I'm always on the look out for new images of (lucky enough to find a couple the other day thanks to a link posted by Ozguy) but they have either sadly passed away or are so fed up of people posting their pictures everywhere, they don't want to make anymore available.

Daddyswap is fine if you have brand new images but if they already have them, you can't get credit to copy some of the ones they already have. Silverdaddies is also a good site but if you want to view the personal galleries you have to subscribe and even then, the pictures are not really big enough.

Usually if someone posts here and the guy is not to my taste then I won't bother to make a comment at all. That's not to say the guy is unattractive, he just doesn't push my buttons. I don't think it's necessary to criticise under those circumstances. Having said that, I have recently criticised comments about the new Bond actor Daniel Craig! But that's different, he's not Bond ;) It's been pointed out that people do have a different idea of what consitutes a chub, a bear, a daddy bear, a polar bear but even this last category isn't always as obvious as it sounds. It's quite feasible for a 40 year old to have silver hair on his head and chest but is that a Polar Bear? To some yes, to others no because he isn't "old" enough in their eyes.

The whole daddy/bear category is as cut and dried as it is fuzzy. Of all the groups it's the one that seems to attract the most derision either for the guys who like them or the guys who ARE them. It's funny how a relatively marginalised group such as the gay community can bitch so much about their own. Furry guys (bears or dads) should be celebrated and should not feel they have to hide what makes them attractive to others.

milolutz

February 26th, 2006, 07:09 PM

[QUOTE=Thundercizzle] This is the Bear/Chub forum. It appears some of you have wandered here with an obstructed view of what a bear is. Just because a man has hair on his body, does not make him a bear. I feel it necessary to say this because although we've let you make your posts in this forum anyway, when someone does post a 'real bear man' there are always negative comments. These comments have got out of hand and I'm going to start giving out warning points. If you are one of those who have the wrong impression of what a bear is, there are at least 4 other forums (http://justusboys.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=31) here that would better suit your taste in men. Please go there.

Hear! Hear!

bearcubvet

February 26th, 2006, 07:41 PM

I wouldn't say that at all. If you can have a bear cub, why can't you have a wolf or otter cub?

Thundercizzle, I'm totally with you on the negative comment issue, but it seems to me that this forum is broader than just a "real bear" forum. After all, "Daddies" is listed in the title, and a daddy isn't necessarily a bear. Personally, I gravitate toward this forum as an alternative to the typical gay image, meaning that I hope to see older guys, hairier guys, heavier guys, and more masculine guys, but in all different combinations. I've always seen the bear community as more inclusive with lots of different categories, such as cubs, chubs, musclebears, otters, wolves, etc. I'd hate to see this community become as exclusive as the part of the gay community that excludes them. But that's just my two cents.

Not to split hairs rockercub, but a young wolf is a pup, and a young otter is a whelp. Not being negative, but you can't have otter/wolf cubs. I for one understand about the exclusion, being often excluded for being too heavy (even though I think I'm a damn good looking guy!). I never made any exclusatory comments about wolves, otters, daddies, silverbacks, or anything else that this board is about. I just would never make a comment that a pic of a twink on here makes me want to :vomit: like more than a couple of people did when I posed about a guy I thought was hot. So, I can't come to a bear board and share a pic of a hot hairy bear without getting made fun of for my taste? I'm already ostracized enough in butt-fuck Iowa for being overweight & gay, but maybe you wouldn't understand about that since you live in California and have a partner. I just wouldn't expect to post to a bear board and be ostracised just for my taste in a guy.

Thundercizzle

February 26th, 2006, 07:56 PM

The bear community labels are such a touchy subject these days. Lots of misconceptions and opinions, like what age a 'cub' guy should be, etc. I try to stay away from it myself.
I can't wait to see the bear men from you guys! Post away! Thunder's got your back.

Rockercub

February 26th, 2006, 08:30 PM

Not to split hairs rockercub, but a young wolf is a pup, and a young otter is a whelp. Not being negative, but you can't have otter/wolf cubs.
Thanks for the info -- I'm pretty new to the bear community, so I don't have the terminology down pat. But my point is the same -- I know a few younger, thinner, but very hairy guys that associate with the bear community. And then there's me -- "Rockercub" -- but I'm old enough have a grown child at this point. Still, at 5'7" with only moderate hair, I just think I look more like a Boo-Boo than a Yogi. ;) I'm with Thundercizzle on this one though -- why get caught up in labels? If someone wants to join our club, I say let 'em join. Otherwise, we're just like the cliquey twinks.

But I hope you didn't take my post to be a comment on anything but a misunderstanding of Thundercizzle's post (you sounded a bit defensive). I didn't mean to come off as anti-bear or anything, just pro-wolf and pro-otter (okay, fill me in -- what's the exact difference between a wolf and an otter?) I think the negative posters here have been particularly rude. Wouldn't it be nice if we could freeze all the twinks' accounts and then post negatively on their forum for a day? "Ew, he's all smooth." "That's disgusting -- he's so skinny." Maybe they'd begin understand what bigger guys go through with the gay community on a regular basis. But then we're sinking to their level.

Oh, by the way, I'm 5'7" and 200 pounds, so I definitely know what it's like to be considered overweight in the gay community, partner or not. And Los Angeles is horrible that way -- everybody wants to be an actor, so they're all zero-percent body fat and beauty-obsessed. ;)

Clifw

February 27th, 2006, 02:41 PM

So if I like muscular hairy men who are older- what on earth are they? These whole porno subdivisions are getting more and more confusing. Everyone has a different definition of what a 'real bear' is so where does the definitive one come from? How do people know that the models they're posting 'associate with the bear community'?

So if I'm attracted to fit, older and hairy men for my pornography needs, I'm totally in the wrong place because I'm not personally attracted to chubbier or octogenarian men?

snapcat

February 27th, 2006, 03:22 PM

Ones definition of just what a bear is may in fact be subjective. I generally subscribe to a broad definition that would include such daddies (in my opinion) as Zak Spears and Carl Hardwick. Older men may be a bear, but just becasue a man is over 30 does not automatically make him a bear. The Website Menover30.com features older men but few actually rise to the definition of bear in my book. Some actually look "twinkish." A newer vein of "bear" that has been advertised on some sites is the "muscle daddy" or "suited daddy." They generally are older and may come off as "dominant." As far as I'm concerned a hairy, stockier older man is always a bear.

And while ones definition of what a bear is may be subjective, there is no subjectivity to rude behavior. Rude behavior is black and white and offensive posts should not be tolerated here.

I would even go so far as to suggest increasing the warning points awarded for such behavior in this forum.

There is still a lot of predudice within our community with respect to body type and so forth. Anyone is free to live their own life as they see fit. But when you come here you play by the rules or find another sandbox.

Thundercizzle

February 27th, 2006, 04:44 PM

So if I like muscular hairy men who are older- what on earth are they? These whole porno subdivisions are getting more and more confusing. \

The porn companies are a lot to blame for this too. There are a lot of them with the same mis-conception of what a bear is. Unless you know the bear community yourself, it's more difficult to explain it. So if you don't associate with the bear community and only have a fetish for hairy men who are older, there's a good chance you're not looking at bears. You're probably just looking at men who have been labeled bears by someone else who doesn't know, and so the misconception continues.
Though, guys like that will always be welcome here, you're probably going to be overwhelmed and possibly turned off by the pics of the older, hairy, husky and chubby men.
I'll start another thread to try and better explain. I'll give some visual examples. ;)

The General

February 27th, 2006, 05:25 PM

So if I like muscular hairy men who are older- what on earth are they?

I'd call that a muscle daddy. And if they were more mature then perhaps silver muscle! Aaarggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!](*,)](*,)](*,)

I think most people would agree that you would expect "daddies" in general to have a hairy chest, hairy stomach, arms & legs. I don't know why people associate body hair and maturity with the term "daddy" because there are plenty of SMOOTH older men (not necessarily fit) out there but they still get referred to as a "daddy". It seems to be more an age thing and the body hair is a preference but not necessarily a requirement for the term "daddy". I would probably put daddies in the 50 plus age group. A moustache alone is probably not "bearish" enough so I think it would stop at plain old daddy with that. 60 plus in age and you get into silverfox territory.

The term "bears" to my mind refers to the 40 plus age bracket who are stocky, very hairy and sport a full beard. When that gets to 50 plus then I would label it as "daddy bear" and at 60 plus "polar bear".

Rockercub

February 27th, 2006, 08:35 PM

I sort of like the idea of the bear code, rather than all these labels. Since everyone, even a "twink," can have a bear code, it suggests inclusiveness. After all, there are "bears" attracted to non-"bears" and vice versa, so you want to have everybody at the party. ;)

http://www.resourcesforbears.com/NBCS/

harristate

February 27th, 2006, 09:36 PM

I don't understand why people have to post negative posts at all. I think it's interesting when someone posts, "I think this pic is hot..." and find it incredibly rude when someone else replies, "He's ugly...". I might not agree with the original poster's opinion but that doesn't give me an excuse to say ugly things. ](*,) This applies to all forums, not just this one.

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" rings true in most cases. I'll get off my Huffy bike now.

Rockercub

February 27th, 2006, 10:25 PM

^But you also have to make the distinction between negative posts and ugly posts. You have to allow for some disagreement or else there's no discourse. If I post a response to your post stating that I disagree with everything you said, mine would be a negative post from your point of view. But it's really just the flip side of the coin. As long as neither of us is calling each other names, I think you have to allow for that.

When it comes to totally subjective things like sexual attraction, though, I agree since there really isn't much to talk about it. You like what you like, and I like what I like. Neither of us is likely to change each other's opinion. Still, I sometimes find positive posts to be similarly upsetting. Using age as an example, if every young bear posted gets 100 responses saying how hot he is, and every older bear only gets 5 positive responses, I still come away from the whole thing thinking I'm less attractive for being older.

INtrospective1

February 28th, 2006, 12:48 AM

Rocker, I see where you are coming from by saying there should be negative posts allowed. However, alot of people don't know how to disagree without being insulting. Check my post here :
http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=83491.

The guy that i posted ,who i thought was hot, was actually not to alot of people. But instead of just saying he wasn't hot, one guy said "first one very hot, second one very fat" (referring to the guy i posted) and i never thought in a bear/chub/daddy/etc. forum that i would hear about a guy being too fat. We are supposed to support each other in this community. I bet the bigger bears who read those comments may have felt less attractive, thus defeating the purpose of this whole chub/bear/chaser/whatever community. Anyway, my whole point is it is ok to disagree, that's why they call it an opinion, however, you shouldn't put down someone else's post. ..|

Thundercizzle

February 28th, 2006, 12:51 AM

Ok Guys. Here ya go!

WHAT is a Bear Man? (http://www.bearzone.com/blog/2006/02/27/what-is-a-bear-man/)

Horschallen

February 28th, 2006, 02:32 AM

There are certain types of men that I do not care for or even wish to look at.... instead of saying anything rude, I just skip them with no comment. I am a superchub... eat your heart out!:badgrin: :p

Cuddly Bear

February 28th, 2006, 06:03 AM

snapcat

February 28th, 2006, 11:06 AM

This is an example I was talking about on my post on this thread. Even though it wasn't of a porn star, this is about a member that posted his pictures.

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28810

I'm left wondering why the offensive posts weren't scrubbed from the thread? I hope warning points were given to those people who were rude.

Cuddly Bear

February 28th, 2006, 11:10 AM

I don't know but I was left crying after reading those posts. That thread is the reason why I'm NEVER putting my pictures up on JUB again.

snapcat

February 28th, 2006, 11:19 AM

Cuddly Bear

February 28th, 2006, 02:16 PM

While in another thread we celebrate the great work our Mods do here, the thread that Brandon cites is evidence that there is room for improvement. The offensive comments should have been scrubbed from that thread.

While I understand we may not always know when Mods assign warning points to someone, in this case I think it would have been appropriate to issue a blanket statement saying the matter had been addressed.

Well since that thread was closed, and it's been there for people to look at. I use that thread as a reminder to people, when they say the comment which seems to be so untrue. "JUB is for everyone"

Thundercizzle

February 28th, 2006, 05:24 PM

While in another thread we celebrate the great work our Mods do here, the thread that Brandon cites is evidence that there is room for improvement. The offensive comments should have been scrubbed from that thread.
While I understand we may not always know when Mods assign warning points to someone, in this case I think it would have been appropriate to issue a blanket statement saying the matter had been addressed.

As for me, I can't really afford the time to mod here very much but it's been drawn to my attention that things have gotten out of hand and so I'm having to make the time to deal with it. It's too late to give warning points for that particular thread now. At the time, I was tolerating the people that drifted into the forum. But that's all in the past, let's not dwell on it.