Dec 29, 2008 | By: Sha
What does diversity mean to you? That life is not black and white, and there are many facets to sexuality and gender. I think because we are taught that everything has to be just one way or the other, we lose track of the fact that there is so much more. I love that I mess with the system and help people realize that not everything fits into the usual boxes.
How did you decide to start a career in porn? Well, I worked in porn for years behind the camera making fetish films, and I was a webmaster for a transsexual girl's membership site. One day a light bulb went on in my head. I realized there was not one website or film in the whole adult industry that showed a guy like me, a female-to-male transsexual. I am a very sexual person, and I wanted to represent myself to the world as a sexual man, with a bit of a difference. That was how Buck Angel was born.
Being born a female but feeling that you were a male must have been very complicating for you. What was the turning point in your life that you knew you needed to change your physical appearance to match that of your inner self? I will never be able to explain how miserable and painful my life was before my change. I really thought I would die because I just could not live that way anymore. One day I saw a movie (not a porn) that had a transsexual guy in it, and everything changed. I realized that I could become the guy I always felt like and wanted to be. It was not an easy thing to go through without having support, but I did it all on my own. Coming from that background of depression and agony to making the transition has formed me into the man I am today. I am very thankful for the life that I have now. I do feel like I have been reborn (that sounds so new age!).
You are known in the industry as "The man with a pussy", but you perform in gay porn, which is not common. Do you identify yourself as gay? No, I do not identify my sexuality in such a limiting way. I feel that I love people, and I love sex. So I am just drawn sexually towards different people--not specifically by gender. I believe many other people are this way, but they feel obligated to identify with one of the usual labels. This is one reason why my work has a big impact on many people whether positive or negative. It makes them think about their sexuality and sex and gender in general. Many gay men are attracted to me and a pussy is just another hole to put a cock....
There must have been times that either industry leaders or other performers have responded negatively to working with you. How have you handled this? HaaaHaaa! That’s an understatement. It isn't easy to be a pioneer. I thought something new and different in porn would be welcome, but the industry was not coming at me in the beginning with open arms. It was more like shotguns! But I am a tough guy and felt that my work was just as important and just as hot as what anyone else was doing, so I stuck to it. There were a couple of times I felt a bit discouraged and felt like I was fighting an uphill battle. But my friends kept telling me I had to keep at it and that my work was important, so I kept going. My hard work and determination have paid off. I have obviously earned the respect of my peers. I knew I had reached a new level when I was nominated and won the AVN award for Transsexual Performer of the Year, and GAYVN nominated my movie “Buckback Mountain” for Best Alternative Release.
What advice would you give to readers that may be dealing with the same issues in life that you have dealt with? Today there is so much more information and support regarding gender issues than when I had my sex change. You can get the help you need and be the person you want to be if that is truly how you feel. I highly suggest doing a lot of research and making sure that this is the road you want to go down, because there really is no turning back. I believe it is a life changing decision that you should weigh very carefully.
Who has been your favorite performer to work with? For sure it was Lobo from my film, “Buckback Mountain”. He is so awesome and very sexy. We had the best sexual chemistry on set. We have remained great friends too, which is always nice. I just recently shot a scene with Wolf Hudson and that was also pretty amazing. He is another really down to earth guy. You know, you should remember that most of the guys I shoot with have never had sex with a "pussy." So the fact that they are willing to try it first on camera and really get into it is so cool. I also shot with Tober Brandt for Titan's "Cirque Noir" and that was so much fun.
Who would you like to work with that you haven't had the opportunity to? I love Jake Deckard!! But I don't know if it would be weird because we are such good friends. But damn he is very HOT!
What do you feel is the biggest misconception about Buck Angel? That I am doing this work to be a freak. It just blows me away how people cannot get their heads around who I am and what I do as a normal thing. They think that I am exploiting myself in a negative way and that I have no self-esteem. The whole reason that I am doing this is to show the world I am not a freak and that I have very healthy self-esteem. But, like I said, people like everything to be black and white and when it is not, then they label you as a freak.
A funny misconception is that I was born male and had my penis surgically removed and had the pussy made instead! I think that is a compliment, because people can't believe that I was actually born female!
What can fans look forward to in Buck Angels future? Wow, I have been working on so many projects. I just finished shooting for a new book called "NAKED" about the adult entertainment industry. And there is a DVD that comes with the book. I also was in London a couple months ago and the British artist, Marc Quinn, is making a life size nude marble sculpture of me. I will be on a TV show in France in February of 2009. I'm working on getting my name and face out there to the whole world. So thanks for supporting me and having me in your magazine.