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Living on the set of Raging Stallion's To the Last Man with the cast and crew for two weeks was a blast. Not even the wettest summer in 20 years was able to dampen the energy and enthusiasm — although it necessitated a few changes in the shooting schedule and one or two modifications in the story.

The three-car carport of the main ranch house was commandeered as operations central. Tables and chairs were set up, to give everyone a sheltered place to gather, whether for meals or for hanging out, and two large white boards were hung there for all to see. One board displayed the entire filming schedule at a glance; the other showed in detail who would be doing what to whom during that day's shooting.

There was a bona fide raging stallion event on the very first day, before everyone had yet arrived. The property owner had arranged to bring in additional horses to use during the filming and one of them was a stallion. This particular horse took a dislike to a gelding that got too close, and all horse hell broke loose. The stallion went on a rampage and the gelding got the brunt of it, sustaining lacerations serious enough to require a trip to the vet. After that, nobody wanted to go near the raging stallion.

A deep wash separates the main ranch properties from a 900-year-old village of more than 200 rooms which is in the process of being excavated and studied by a team of archaeologists. Several scenes were scheduled to be shot in and around these ruins. During one afternoon's filming, Jake Deckard was dispatched to the ranch house to fetch a piece of equipment. He hollered as he approached the wash: there was a screaming roar and a wall of water.

By the time everyone arrived to see what Jake was hollering about, the flash flood had passed and the dry wash was now a raging river. Everyone on the set was effectively cut off from the rest of the ranch. We all yelled and screamed, hoping our voices would carry and that the rest of the cast and crew would be able to enlist the owner to rescue us.

No dice.

Our voices were eventually heard and everybody thought it was pretty funny, but there was no solution except to wait it out, hoping the floodwaters would eventually subside enough to wade across. It took an hour or two, but everyone was finally able to cross back over. Director Tony Dimarco was one of the first to cross — with his camera — and he instructed the stranded models to strip and hold their clothing over their heads as they forded the stream, so look for that footage as a DVD extra when the movie is released.

Antonio Biaggi elected to play the clown. Removing only his boots, he rolled up his pant legs, unzipped his zipper, pulled out his enormous balls (but not his cock) and declared: "This is my flotation device" as he crossed the muddy water.

If I taped and broadcast some of the conversations that took place in the carport, it would launch a wave of lawsuits, I'm sure. But some of the talk can be safely repeated.

I loved the story of "Jake's First Cock." A pair of nesting barn swallows in the carport, with four hungry young, resulted in the parent birds flying in and out, undaunted by the intruders on their territory, hundreds of times a day. They generated lots of bird stories, including this one:

As a toddler, Jake Deckard lived in a rural area and his parents had lots of domestic fowl. Ruling the roost was a mean Goliath of a rooster who, as Jake tells it, came up to his eyeballs. This rooster used to terrify and chase Jake around the yard until the day when it was finally slaughtered for the dinner table. Jake says, "It was tough and it tasted like shit but I was never so glad to eat anything in my whole life. It was my first cock."

Damien Crosse, looking a lot beefier these days and sporting plenty of body hair since his departure from Titan, has just moved to Madrid with his boyfriend Francesco D'Macho. Damien in the flesh was very different from the persona he creates onscreen — much more of a care-bear. Damien got ragged on by his fellow performers for the way his voice would drop and his expression would change whenever he talked to, or about, Francesco.

Damien also had funny stories to tell about misadventures with caverject on the sets of some of his past films. Caverject is a drug that is injected directly into the blood vessels of the penis to  produce an instant and long-lasting hardon. It has made fluffers obsolete. But it can also have unpredictable results. Damien had everyone laughing over stories of cocks that were hard at the base and droopy at the end or — as he once experienced himself — a cock that was hard on one side but soft on the other.